Remember: There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
You can't say I didn't warn you.
In front of a fountain at EPCOT,
February 1998.
Where to begin?
Just so you can associate the information you will be reading with the person it belongs to, here's a picture of me. Because I know you're going to ask, "How recent is the picture?," it's not. In fact, it's from the spring of 1998. Over a decade ago! Scary thing is, about the only difference between then and now are a few (hundred) gray hairs. The facial hair has changed (and keeps getting changed depending on my mood!). Some of the other pictures scattered around here are more recent and you can hopefully tell that my appearance hasn't changed that much... so far.
In the Beginning...
Now you know what I look like, so where should I really start? How about with my name? I don't know what my name was when I was born (I was adopted), but it is currently Erik.
Just in case you're wondering on being adopted, I do have a desire to find out who my "sperm-and-egg-donors" were. Mostly for their medical histories, since most diseases are genetically inherited anyway. There is some curiosity in me about the common "adopted thoughts" of: "Do I look like them?" or "Do I have any siblings?" and just "Why?" But those are questions that I can leave unanswered. In this day and age, it's the genetic background that I'm totally interested in, and what I can expect from my body later in life.
Organizational Skills?
After getting this information about me down in "zeroes and ones," it would appear I seem to be able to organize my life into three stages so far. There are: my pre-college life, my college years and my life immediately after college, and my life since finding "myself." While I hate the cliché of college being the "big" changing place in my life, it really was where I began seriously looking inside myself as a person, as you will later read.
With that in mind, I present my life thus far in a somewhat "edited for television" format....
Carnival World
I was raised in the "Sunshine State" of Florida, in a town just outside of Orlando, called Apopka. If memory serves me, Apopka means "big potato" in the Seminole tongue. Apopka wasn't really a small town, but we lived outside the city limits in the county—way "out" in the sticks for Florida. My father owns a plant nursery, and needed lots of space to raise the plants, so we were rather isolated from other people as I was growing up. These days, Orlando and the surrounding towns have pretty much turned into a megalopolis, and an expressway has been built right through the middle of dad's nursery... Isn't growth wonderful? Not to worry: my dad found a large area of land close to the current location of the nursery, and is in the process of moving the nursery to the new site.
Very young picture of me,
Christmas 1973.
Another young me,
1975.
Contrary to what others may believe, I was born (or hatched, cloned, or something...). Here are some baby pictures that I present as proof that I haven't always been this old. Look at that forehead! I look like a freaking Beluga whale or some other thing you would see swimming around Sea World. I wonder why my parents didn't rent it out as a billboard? I was bald for the longest time as a kid. Total strangers would come up to my mom when she was holding me to rub my head for good luck. No wonder I was bald—they kept rubbing off all the freakin' hair that was trying to grow!
Erik in 6th Grade, 1984.
My Mis-Education...
After being yanked out of the public school system due to my parents increasing concern about the bad influences I was surrounded with, I was thrust into the "private" religious school system starting with the fifth grade. After a year at that Baptist school, I was moved to a different school which I attended from sixth grade through my senior year. It was a private, Church of Christ-based school called Mt. Dora Bible School (more formally known as "Christian Home and Bible School"). I graduated from high school in 1991. Due to the small size of the class I was in—only 19 students in my graduating class, and many of them had been there as long as or longer than I had—I miss some of the people that I had become close to at the school. We didn't have a 10-year class reunion in 2001—due mostly to the fact that I was the class vice-president and it was my responsibility to organize one.
Me as the mascot,
Winter 1990.
What else can I tell you about my school years? I was the mascot for my high school—a bulldog. Kind of sexy, huh? Nice collar. Just add a little more leather... woof! You want to lose weight fast? Just put on one of those outfits and run around a hot gym for several hours. Instant weight loss—guaranteed! From those experiences, I now understand why people like to hide behind "masks": you can do almost anything, be your true self, and do something you would never do when someone knew it was you. That was definitely a fun thing to do.
Erik and Coach
Ledbetter, 1991.
I definitely wasn't a "jock" in school. About the only "sport" I enjoyed was track, and in my senior year, cross-country. It wasn't so much that I enjoyed it—everyone knows I never put my heart or much effort into it. It was just a way for me to be by myself, more or less, and contemplate some of the "crap" that was starting to go through my head at that time.
There are several individuals in my life that I will forever be indebted to for the time and energy they expended on me. One of them was my track/cross-country coach. He's the one in the picture with me over there. (Look how skinny and gangly I was. And what's with me having no tan and living in Florida?)
Mr. Sapp, 1989 Jamboree
Soaring with Eagles...
Since I'm writting about people who were important to my development as a member of human society, another would have to be my former Scoutmaster, Mr. Sapp. I am extremely thankful for the opportunities I had as both a Cub Scout and as a Boy Scout. I am forever grateful to Mr. Sapp for pushing me to be my best, which eventually culminated in my obtaining the rank of Eagle. I believe both he and "Coach" laid the foundation for me that has aided me in becoming who and what I am today.
I guess I could write how I feel about the decisions BSA, Inc. has made regarding Scouts and leaders who are gay, but that's really a whole different story—one of which still brings up mixed emotions for me.
The Dark Years
After graduating from high school, and for several not apparently well thought out at the time reasons, I promptly left all that Florida has to offer, and moved to Arkansas to attend college. After living in the central Arkansas for five years—and having finally graduating from college—I happily (actually, ecstatically) moved away from that town whose name I dare not speak. I'm sure that for a lot of people their college years were probably the best time of their life. This could be the furthest from the truth for me. During that time I was beginning to struggle with what the church called "demons"—and leaving that place behind was something I needed to do.
The only bright spot for me during that entire time was meeting one person—someone that I, to this day, refer to as "dad." He was there for me during many dark times in those college years. Unfortunately as of the beginning of 2005, I had to more-or-less sever that relationship due to it becoming a strain on my well-being.
I ended up in Fayetteville, Arkansas, located in the northwest corner of the state, which has probably been one of the best moves I have made so far. I had planed to work on a Master's degree, but after moving changed my mind and pretty much threw myself into the "working life."
Want more? Continue your "education" by reading more about Erik...