gambrinous with griffonage

kyle asked:

dear tattooist.

a) will it hurt? i'm a complete pussy and don't like pain.
b) what would your mom think - i mean, dirtying up your skin and all. don't you know what leviticus says about it? scandalous.

I'll be focusing on "a)" in this post.

Not to put to fine a point on it, but yes. However, "hurt" is relative. Sometimes after eating at P.F. Chang's and then passing a 5 Couric crap hurts, right? (Google it...)

I posted on this a couple years ago, actually.

And like I said then, "Some people just lay there, while others moan and twitch and cry the whole time… just like sex!"

Most people say that getting a tattoo is just "irritating". Some people actually fall asleep while getting a tattoo. (I've had two people fall asleep while being inked, and it kind of freaked me out both times.) Some people cry like they're having bamboo spikes shoved under their fingernails. The point is: everyone is different. Only you know what your "normal" pain threshold is.

From the technical side, I am aware that there are some tattooists out there who believe in digging hard and deep. Which sucks. And hurts. And is totally unnecessary. (I've been tattooed by an artist before that believed in that methodology. I know better now!) Talk with your tattooist during the procedure and let he or she know how they are doing. ESPECIALLY if it hurts more than you think it should!

If you have questions about tattoos: tattoos in general, about getting a tattoo, about giving a tattoo, or anything else related to tattoos, just add a comment to my November 6, 2009 post, or send me the question via e-mail from my contact page. I will then dedicate an entire post to answering your question.

Welcome to the first installment in what will hopefully be a long-lived "segment" here on my blog.

RG asked:

Although this may not be a question about the technical aspects of tattooing, but I have to ask, where's the strangest place on a body, that someone has asked you to ink and what was the tattoo?

I've had a few guys come in to the studio and talk about having their "John Thomas" tattooed. But none have followed through. [A good thing, as technically that is a rough place to tattoo: the client must remain flaccid the entire time (don't want blood pushing out the ink I'm trying to put in), and all the stretching of skin I'd have to do really wouldn't be all that fun to me... in this case.]

So that leaves the following story as my strangest place to tattoo someone. Or in this case two someones, and a strange story. Double whammy.

One of the Husbear's hair clients knew he and I were a couple, so she and a friend felt comfortable with the following request: they both wanted tattoos in a location not-to-distant from their nether-regions. And by "nether-regions" I mean some place I would NEVER willingly go on a female. But I did it for the money. [Does that make me a prostitute of sorts?]

The first female wanted a lip print with his-and-her names surrounding the lip print. They gave me the lip print to use and the names. [I already have issues with tattooing a spousal unit's name on a spouse. This location for that was just bizarre. But that's probably the subject for another post.]

I was almost done with the tattoo when the person I'm tattooing on just called her friend the name I just tattooed. On her.

It takes me a few seconds to comprehend what I just heard.

Umm....

Swinger couples. Each getting the other couple's names tattooed on them.

The second female had the other couple's name tattooed on her and the bisexual symbol. Which I had no idea there was one until that point.

So far, that has been my strangest location to tattoo, and the strangest story to accompany said tattoos. I'm sure at some point I will have a new story, but that's been the strangest in four years.

If you have questions about tattoos: tattoos in general, about getting a tattoo, about giving a tattoo, or anything else related to tattoos, just add a comment to my November 6, 2009 post, or send me the question via e-mail from my contact page. I will then dedicate an entire post to answering your question.

For some reason I can't explain, I've stayed away from talking about tattooing here for the most part. Maybe it's time to change that. I think I'm going to start a new "segment" here on my blog. But it will take your help!

I have roughly titled it "Dear Tattooist...". Good title, eh? I really, really suck at coming up with meaningful titles if you haven't noticed by now. Any suggestions on a better title?

Anyway, here's how it will work: Ask a question—or questions (hint!)—about tattoos: tattoos in general, about getting a tattoo, about giving a tattoo, or anything else related to tattoos, either in the comments or via email. I will then dedicate an entire post to answering your question.