Be Careful What You Ask For

From my bud Alexander:

Ask me a question about EACH of the following and when enough questions have been submitted I will post an answer to what I consider to be the best question from each category:

1. Friends
2. Sex
3. Music
4. Religion
5. Love
6. Blogging

Then post this on your blog and see what questions you get asked!

Hell… I might just actually answer EVERY question instead of just one of the best 🙂

Update: I have been answering the questions… see the comments for the answers.

Until next time...

9 thoughts on “Be Careful What You Ask For

  1. 1. Is it right to have sex with people who you class as ‘just friends’ or does it end up making the friendship awkward?
    Erik’s answer: I don’t think it is wrong to have sex with someone I would classify as “just friends”. However, since sex is a two-way street (or three, or four… heh heh) there is the other person’s ability to not get “awkward” that has to be considered as well. I think that is why some people can have fuck buddies while others cannot—the ability to separate “just sex” from emotional attachment.

    2. What has been your most horrifying experience of sex?
    Erik’s answer: Hmm… horrifying. Not sure if I have had a truly “horrific” sex experience. The first thing that comes to mind occurred in New Orleans. I made a connection with some guy from Canada in a backroom at a club. He and I decided to go back to his room. We found the husbear and took him as well. We made it back to Mr. Canada’s hotel room, where he and the husbear took turns fucking me. Hard. For hours. And Mr. Canada was not one of small endowment either. I remember distinctly the moment the fun turned to “get me out of here”. I was sore for days.

    3. Lots of people say music can make them sad or happy. Is there one particular piece of music that makes you very sad and why?
    Erik’s answer: I don’t have a sad song (yet). I do have various emotional responses to music, but most of them are happy. Some get me pumped while others make me relaxed. There are a few pieces that make me feel angry for some reason. Those are the ones I am trying to figure out.

    4. No matter what your beliefs are, is there any one thing in particular about religion that you find yourself having a little bit of respect for even if you aren’t religious in any way?
    Erik’s answer: I find the ability to make people believe in something without questioning it (i.e., faith) the most interesting aspect of religions.

    5. Is there anyone in your life who you know doesn’t love you in the way that you want to be loved and is there anything that you or they could do to change that?
    Erik’s answer: The whole unconditional love and acceptance from my “parental” family comes to mind. I don’t know that there is a way to change it from its current state. Sadly, I have come to the point where I have given up really trying anymore. I have my own family now that does love and accept me.

    6. What qualities draw you to particular blogs and the people that are responsible for those blogs?
    Erik’s answer:There are many qualities: from the style in which someone writes; the items they write about; posting of items that I am drawn to; how they may comment on other blogs; the humor I detect; or even something as shallow as how they look. I don’t know that there is anything specific to any of it… it’s just a “feeling” I get. Damned feelings.

  2. 1. How many close friends would you say you have?
    Erik’s answer: I guess that depends on the definition of “close friend”. My definition of close friend would be a person that at any time I could call to help me hide a body. I guess my answer would be four (4) at this current moment.

    2. What is the one sexual adventure you have yet to do, but would love to do
    Erik’s answer: I’ve always wanted to have sex in the sleeper of an 18-wheeler. I don’t know why, I just have. I know, not very adventurous.

    3. Music can be like a scent or aroma. Hearing that one song takes you from the present, but to that place in time and what event(s) you were going through. What song always takes you back, regardless of when or where you hear it again?
    Erik’s answer: I actually have a few songs that take me somewhere else, but this was the first that came to my mind as I was thinking about it: Mötley Crüe’s “She Goes Down”. Working at BSA Camp Daniel Boone in Canton, North Carolina, summer of 1990. There was a CD player in the camp store that I worked in with a few others. We had the Dr. Feelgood CD playing, and when this song came on we did this whole air guitar thing. I always remember that moment when I hear this song. Weak, I know.

    4. What is one thing you find redeeming and of value from religion?
    Erik’s answer: I have yet to find anything “redeeming” from religion. Of value? The ability to incite people do something contrary to their own personal beliefs and values in the pursuit of “doctrine”.

    5. How many times have you truly been in love?
    Erik’s answer: Three times.

    6. Do you feel that blogging, for you, is a joy and cathartic, or repeatative and drudgery?
    Erik’s answer: Definitely a joy. I don’t know how cathartic though. But I enjoy getting what little thoughts and questions I have out there. I more enjoy reading others thoughts, but felt that I should quit lurking and participate.

  3. 1+2+3: What music was playing the last time you had sex with someone with whom you were friends first? Or, if you can’t remember: What music would you be playing if you were to hypothetically have sex for the first time with a longtime friend?
    Erik’s answer: The music was more the sounds of the night in the country and a hot tub bubbling. Not really music, I know. Granted, it wasn’t “full” sex, but it was still sex. If I was to pick something for that hypothetical first time sex with a longtime friend, it would probably be something from the classic rock or hard rock genres. Lots of solid, heavy riffs and a steady beat.

    4+5+6: What is it that you love most about blogging — as a blogger or reader/commenter — and how did that love translate into your bravest, most saintly act of self-revelation?
    Erik’s answer: Saintly? Me? Hmm. More than anything, I enjoy reading what others write. It has made me realize I really haven’t spent a lot of time thinking about things that I should, and that there’s a big universe out there that I have yet to experience much of.

  4. Hey buddy, I enjoyed your answers. Thank you for being open and honest. I can relate to number 2. I had a situation like that years ago too. I was actually ready to call it rape. The guys would not take no for an answer and it got very freaky. I don’t think I have ever had a piece of music that made me angry. I do have loads that make me very sad. There are some classical pieces of music that pluck at at my heart strings because they remind me of people. I am sorry to hear of the situation with your ‘parental family’. I hope for you one day that may change but as you say you have your own family now who I am sure you love with all your heart too. I can certainly can see the love in a lot of your pictures of between you and your lovely man. Once again thanks buddy. Your answers give a lot of food for thought.

  5. Terrific answers, all, Erik. I’m afraid if I was asked what my most horrific sex was, I’d be forced to admit to sitting through three hours of “I Love Lucy” to get into the pants of the dead-sexiest stud in the city (to me) at that time. After the three torturous hours, we stripped and had the least-inspired, least-enthusiastic and least-satisfying sex of my life.

    Funny thing, a dozen years later we had sex on a dare, became fuckbuds and reversed the unpleasant memory quite radically.

  6. @Romach:
    Sorry you had to deal with an experience like that too. I guess there’s probably a lot of us out there who have been in a similar situation. I think most people just don’t talk about it. When it turns from something fun to something you just want to run screaming out of. Rape would be fairly accurate at that point.

    I’m not sure why the music makes me angry. I can think of no emotional attachment to the piece that should cause it. Maybe there’s something about the key they are in, or the beat patterns and riffs in them. I’m not sure.

    I’ve never been one to have “sad” moments with music, yet. There’s always a first to come though. Many songs remind me of people and places in time, but not always emotions attached to them. What songs do it for you?

    Thanks for asking the questions I got to answer 🙂

    It’s amazing the things we’ll put ourselves through to get in someone’s pants, eh?

  7. 1. Who immediately pops into mind when you hear the phrase “best friend?”
    Erik’s answer: Two people, actually: the husbear and my buddy.

    2. What was the most memorable sexual experience you ever had?
    Erik’s answer: Hmm… well, memorable could be either a good memory or a bad memory. Since I already spoke of a bad memory experience, I’ll go with a good one this time. In the long ago, there was a straight friend I have who wanted to go out drinking with me after work one night. We did. After many drinks, we somehow ended up at his house and continued drinking. We ended up in his hot tub. (You know where this is going…) One thing led to another: a hand on his knee. Adventurously working my way up his thigh. Touching and fondling him for a bit. Him moving so I could suck him, which I did for a good hour. Sadly, it was a wee bit cold out, it was extremely late and we were both a lot buzzed, so neither of us really got off that night/morning. But I greatly enjoyed that experience and remember it vividly to this day. I couldn’t tell you why I enjoyed it other than I did. I don’t think he has regretted it either… 😉

    3. What album do you never tire listening to?
    Erik’s answer: Damn. This is a hard question! I actually have a few albums that I never, never, never tire of. The first on my list would be The B-52’s “Cosmic Thing”. I can throw it in the CD player or toggle it on my iPod and be happy for hours. Much to the annoyance of EVERYONE around me. See also: Hootie & The Blowfish’s “Cracked Rear View”, Green Day’s “American Idiot”, Alanis Morissette’s “Supposed Former Infatuation Junkie”, Big & Rich’s “Horse of a Different Color”, No Doubt’s “Tragic Kingdom”, and a few more….

    4. If you could wipe organized religion from the face of the earth, would you?
    Erik’s answer: Yes. But it would probably be easier to just destroy the Earth, reformat, and reload the OS from native install bits. Hmm… that sounds familiar? I think Noah was God’s attempt at doing an OS rebuild using a File and Settings Transfer Wizard. It was obviously buggy.

    5. Can love between two men last a lifetime?
    Erik’s answer: I think so. However, the nature/dynamic of the relationship will change as none are static. What was “love” at the beginning of the relationship will more than likely be a highly evolved form of “love” at the end of the lifetime.

    6. Blogging: What keeps you going?
    Erik’s answer: I don’t know that I’ve been “blogging” long enough to have a valid answer yet. I have been maintaining my own websites in one form or another for about 15 years. I always had a “what’s going on” section that I updated frequently. I guess that could almost be looked at as an early attempt at blogging. A diary of sorts that I could refer back to over time and see where I was and what I was thinking. I’ve always considered most blogs to be just large online diaries. I like peeking in and seeing what’s going on. Maybe doing that is what keeps me going.

  8. 1. Do you ever feel like you have enough friends?
    Erik’s answer: I don’t know that it is possible for one to have enough friends. I know I have just a few “close” friends who mean the world to me. Then I have many friends and acquaintances that aren’t on the same “level” as those close few.

    2. Has there ever been a time where the open relationship has ever made you feel jealous?
    Erik’s answer: It wasn’t so much jealousy as it was “WTF?!?” and elevated annoyance. We managed to work through it, and have gone on from there.

    3. What song or album would be playing during the hottest, most raw, and sweaty sex you could ever imagine?
    Erik’s answer: I’m honestly rarely paying attention to my surrounds during moments like those. But I don’t know that it would be any song in particular, other than maybe some random, old school techno with a dark and heavy beat.

    4. Do you ever feel like there is an empty place in your life that religion or faith could fill?
    Erik’s answer: Nope. Never. I have been down that road when I was younger, and have come to realize religion is just another dependency, just as drugs are for others. People use it to fill a hole in their life that they haven’t managed to work through.

    5. Who was or is your greatest love of all? If that is too personal, what about Robert made you fall in love with him?
    Erik’s answer: Robert is the greatest love of my life. There have been a few “lesser” loves over time, but those are friends that I love in a different way. There are many things that made me fall in love with Robert (and he’s always quick to ask me why I love him). These things range from the way he looks at me when he things I’m not looking at him, all the way to the way he makes that little snoring noise in the middle of the night.

    6. Do you ever find it hard to be so free with your thoughts and feelings when you are blogging?
    Erik’s answer: Not so far. I actually have an easier time expressing my thoughts and feelings “on paper” as it were, than I do attempting to express the same through conversation.

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