I received these custom Chucks for Yaksmas.

Funny story about them. At least one that I think is funny. One that gives an entirely new meaning to sneakernet.

The "D0NTPAN1C" stitched into the back of them? That *was* my master password. Well, kind of. It was the one I had set up so the Husbear could access my information if I got hit by a bus. (Apparently, he is unaware of case-sensitivity when it comes to passwords.) But I changed the password anyway.

Next time I'll just seal the password in an envelope and not actually tell him what the password is.

For some reason it took years to build, but it finally opened on 11/11/11.

This is the entrance to the museum. There's a large silver tree out front. The Husbear wants one now so that all his peacocks can hang around on it.

My apologies if the pictures are a little fuzzy. They were all taken with my iPhone 3GS' camera.

I was definitely more intrigued by the building design than I was a majority of the art on exhibit.

Something about this building reminds me of a turtle shell:

And this one a rolly-polly or a centipede:

It will be interesting to see the grounds in a few years once everything has started to weather and loses that new construction feel.

The interior ceilings of the "bridges" are gorgeous to look at.

There are a lot of unusual shapes to be found in the museum.

This is the ceiling of the gift shop/museum store. I loved it more than anything. Each of those lines is actually a cut piece of plywood on edge. And the buckyball-esque light fixtures are incredible.

The museum has an interesting layout. In between each of the sections of galleries, there are small, comfortable libraries with books one can read. Some day I may just go back and park my butt down and read for a while.

Then there's all the art. The museum has several galleries dedicated to different periods of time. But my favorite pieces ended up being in the Modern and Contemporary sections, which the Husbear loathed.

Here's a few pieces I love.

Nam June Paik's "John Cage Robot II ", 1995. It reminds me of something one would see at Burning Man. Or possibly at a Blue Man Group event. Who happen to be here this week. (*hint* *hint* Husbear!)

Norman Rockwell's "Rosie the Riveter", 1943:

Thomas Hart Benton's "The Steel Mill", 1930:

The Husbear staring at Neil G. Welliver's "Snow on Alden Brook", 1983:

Kara Walker's "A Warm Summer Evening in 1863", 2008:

It's an interesting museum. If you're ever in the area, it's definitely worth the visit. The museum sits on some beautiful grounds that I can't wait to see in the spring and summer.

1. When did you first notice having homosexual feelings?
I always remember being mentally drawn to as well as having a physical attraction/reaction to males. Even before I reached puberty. I didn't know they were homosexual feelings at the time.

2. How and when did you come out to yourself?
I don't know when—or if—I actually said to myself "Hey, you are gay, and you're okay." There was years and years of "knowing there was something wrong" about me thanks to a religious family upbringing and religious schooling telling me those differences were sinful and wrong and "those people" would burn in Hell. It was a long time of slowly chipping away at those deeply embedded teachings just for me to even start to comprehend that it was okay to be "different". Years and years of self-hate and denial. It was/is a long, slow process to just accept myself. So I don't know that I have a definite answer to this question.

3. How and when did you come out to others?
I am certain I outed myself unintentionally from time to time to others from comments I made, or the fact I had no social life. Or social life I discussed with others. I didn't want to be around other males for fear of doing something stupid or getting caught. I really don't remember the first time I actually came out to someone and said "I'm gay", but one particular instance sticks in my head.

I had this picture of the Husbear and myself hanging on my pod wall at the Wal-Mart Home Office back in 1998.

(click to see it bigger on flickr)

My Operations Manager saw it and either asked if it was my brother or who it was with me. I think I said it was "my partner". "Business partner?" "Well, that too." (They knew I ran a business outside of the job there.) Dawning comprehension washes across his face. "Ooohhh."

But I'm sure there were others I told before that happened. I just don't recall. I'm guessing though it involved a lot of "partner", "friend", or "housemate" talk though. It's odd how we can forget these things after so long.

4. What were the first reactions you got from others?
I can say that I never had a bad reaction. Most people said it was no big deal at all; that I was still the same person.

5. Did their reactions change over time?
I don't think my being gay changed anything. Although I tend to be a little naive about such things. I'm sure there are some people who wouldn't hang around me in public for fear of other people thinking they might be gay too since they're hanging out with me, but that's their loss.

6. How did your family react?
The first person I told in my family was my oldest younger brother. Somewhere between 1999 and 2000, he came to visit me in Arkansas. I was scared as Hell to tell him. But he took it well.

Then came the non-biological parental units in October 2001. Telling the parental units didn't go so well. And still hasn't to this day. I'm fairly certain my father has written me out of the will for that and several other reasons. And although I can't explain why, I'm okay with that.

I also told my sister in writing at the same time as my parents. She's never spoken of it since. Although she does ask about the Husbear when we talk, and she treats him well when we see her in person.

I've never told my youngest brother, but I'm sure the rest of the immediate family has done that for me.

7. How long did it take for you to start dating others of your gender?
I'm using "dating" and "having sex" as meaning the same thing in this instance. At least for me they were. I was 23 years old before I had sex for the first time. And had sex with that same person on-and-off for about 6 months. We just had hours and hours of sex on the weekends, and didn't date.

The first person I actually "dated" dated was the person who would become my Husbear. We had sex the first time we met in real life, and then I didn't let him have sex with me for a good month. Just to see if he was really interested in me. I guess he was.

8. Have you encountered discrimination because of your sexuality? What types?
I consider discrimination to be the denial of some act or service to someone because they're different. I know I've been discriminated against for other reasons, such as having visible tattoos. But not for my sexuality. Directly. Yet. Which is really odd when I think about it considering I live in the South.

9. Have you ever been favored in any way due to your sexuality?
Again, I can't say I have. At least not that I am consciously aware of. Maybe I've gotten better service from a waiter or a flight attendant, but again, I don't know.

10. Do you know of other homosexuals who are afraid to "come out"? Do you feel the need to "out" them involuntarily?
I live in the South, the land of a church on every corner, and the land of the Klan. (You know, I'm sure there's a connection there.) So yes, I know many people who are afraid to come out. And I wouldn't out them, at least not intentionally. That's their own path to take.

11. How do you feel about the issue of same sex marriages? Homosexuals in the military?
Two people can live together in harmony without paperwork. So I don't really understand why anyone would want to get "married", aside from ALL the economic and social benefits of it as allowed by the laws of the land. Which I guess is the whole point. And always has been. Marriage historically has NEVER been about love. It's always been about property. Something the brain-dead people defending the "sanctity of marriage" today seem to forget about.

And I seriously don't see the big deal about why someone's sexual orientation could disallow them to participate in the protection of our country. If someone is so hung up on a gay person being around them, maybe they are the one with the issues.

12. What groups and/or people (if any) helped you deal with the process of accepting your homosexuality?
As bizarre as this will sound, Christians. More specifically all the Christian schooling I went through. I was, oddly enough, taught to ask questions. Well, maybe that wasn't what I was taught, but that's what I learned. And in so questioning, I questioned what I was being taught. That's what started me down the path of accepting myself.

The Husbear helped me a lot when we got together as well, and still continues to this day.

It is normally a 10 hour drive to NOLA from our home. But the Husbear likes to take roads less traveled when we drive somewhere. Sometimes VERY much less traveled. Enough that the phrase "where we're going, we don't need roads" comes to mind. Without the cool flying cars.

But the travel makes for an interesting adventure. (Remind me I said that later.) We get to see places that a lot of people don't ever see. And places people probably don't want to see, like the inspiration for "Deliverance".

For this trip, the Husbear picked a path pretty much due south. To a place called Holly Beach, Louisiana.

He picked Holly Beach because—he thought—any place with the word "beach" in it's name must have beach-front hotels and restaurants where we could stay the night and play on the white, sandy beach the next morning.

Me thinks I should check the Husbear's travel plans before our next road trip.

We arrived in Holly Beach at around 8pm. Not so much of anything, aside from a few stilt houses. No restaurants. No hotels. And the dirtiest beach I've ever seen in my life. Dead fish and trash all over it.

But there was a nice sunset going on at least.

I'm assuming the "town" was wiped from the map during Katrina. Or maybe it's always been like that. Needless to say, we continued our journey, driving the route we would have taken the next morning hugging the coastline on our way to NOLA.

Which pretty much contained only open road and a random stilted trailer or RV here and there. And a whole lot of bugs. Which are now permanently embedded into the hood and windshield of the car.

The first town we came to that had a place to eat that was open (viva la Taco Bell!) and a hotel was in Abbeville. Which on the map above is the glowing little blue dot... two hours from the previous destination.

I can't be mad at him, bless his heart. We had a good drive regardless of where we're sleeping.

And tomorrow we'll be in New Orleans!

I love you so much.

Press play on the video, then scroll down and read along.

I was walking, was living,
My melody was a capella.
There's a beat I was missing,
No tune, or a scale, I could play.

No sound in the distance,
No orchestra playing together.
Like a boat out to sea,
The silence was too deafening!

So come and revive me,
I can't feel my heartbeat,
It's just me surviving alone.

Before you,
My whole life was a capella!
Now a symphony's
The only song to sing.
Before you,
My whole life was a capella!
Now a symphony's
The only song to sing.

Everything was the same.
One color was just like the others.
An assembly routine,
My memories were all black and white.

'Till I stopped over-thinking,
Decided to draw back the curtains.
And I cleared all the cobwebs
And began to let in the light.

So come and revive me,
I can't feel my heartbeat,
It's just me surviving alone.

Before you,
My whole life was a capella!
Now a symphony's
The only song to sing.
Before you,
My whole life was a capella!
Now a symphony's
The only song to sing.

You are the drum in my heart beat
Bass and guitar lead
Stuck on the notes you play
My heart that you play on
Grab like a crayon
I can't walk away.

Before you,
My whole life was a capella!
Now a symphony's
The only song to sing.
Before you,
My whole life was a capella!
Now a symphony's
The only song to sing.

Here's the original song the above was taken from. I actually like the visuals in the video. They're very much something you would like.

I do love you. So much.
Happy anniversary baby.