gambrinous with griffonage

From Spud Comics.

I've often wondered... "Why toilet paper?" Why not old magazines, or jets of water, or corn cobs, or shells, or our right hands?

And is the need to wipe our butts something experienced through all cultures historically? Or do/did some cultures just not care about having 50 brands of pulped tree products with which to wipe?

I wonder if anyone's ever done a historical study?

And what about humans who have excessive hair in their... "zone"? Do they have to pre-shave? It's bad enough shaving my face. I can't imagine having to clipper cut between my cheeks on a regular basis.

Not that I mind seeing a nice furry butt from time to time...

(lick to embiggen)

Am I the only one who ponders these kinds of things?