The reason alcohol was created….

This was an interesting weekend. And by “interesting” I mean “ugh”. And this is a long-winded post.

I’ve been building new, custom stations for the Husbear’s salon, at the rate of typically one a weekend. That means cutting the pieces out, assembling, sanding, painting, then mounting them at the salon.

This weekend’s station was fraught with frustration. Well, the station wasn’t. But the process of building and installing it caused much in me.

Cutting out one of the pieces, the blade on the circular saw wedged/caught somehow and took out a chunk of the piece I was cutting. Mad I got. Actually, pissed I was. I’m not one to have a temper. Normally. But I kind of snapped a little. And took it out on the saw, by chucking the circular saw across the front porch. Which resulted in the shoe of the saw being bent to an unusable state.

Anatomy of a circular saw, in case you didn’t know.

All that ruckus scared the Husbear a wee bit. He knew I was frustrated.

Luckily I had a spare circular saw on hand. And a new blade. But this new blade wouldn’t cut the wood at all. And I have no idea why. Super levels of frustration have now set in.

Angrily I head off to Lowe’s to get yet another blade. But this time instead of getting the blade that was normally recommended to use on the type of material I am cutting, the Lowe’s Guy (because I don’t know his name) points me to some other type of blade to use that’s not even recommended for what I’m cutting. And at about 5x the cost of the previous ones! At this point I’m just angry enough that I say what the Hell and drop some coin on the blade he recommended.

On the way home from Lowe’s, I came across a just-happened “accident”. Involving a motorcycle. That had to have been traveling at an extremely high rate of speed judging by the parts laying around, and the fact the motorcycle was sliced in half like someone had sliced it with a saw. Because of it, and it’s driver, traveling through a wire cattle fence. And then there was the blood. That didn’t help my brain any.

I made it back to the house, a little solemnly. But still frustrated.

I installed the newly purchased blade in the saw, and ran the next cut. Which cut through like I wasn’t even doing anything. Which made my frustration level rise a little more because of all the pain-in-the-ass-ness that happened before.

So I’m on my last cut, and I accidentally drop circular saw #2. Which falls just right and warps the shoe on it. Argh!

Two circular saws, both with warped shoes.

Not winning so far, am I?

And then, a cloud blows overhead it starts to rain. SERIOUSLY? No rain in the forecast, then bam! WTF?

I grab all the pieces I’ve cut and frantically haul it and all my equipment inside the house. At which point it stops raining about 5 minutes after I’ve brought everything inside.

I’m surprised I haven’t had a coronary by this point.

But the place I was working on the front porch is now all wet, and I need to assemble these pieces. So I haul them to the side porch, which is covered, so it’s mostly dry.

I end up getting the station assembled and painted around 9:30 PM. Ugh.

So the next day (Monday), the Husbear and I load up the station and tools in the back of the truck and take it up to the salon to install.

We removed the old station from the wall and prep the area for the new station to be installed at, which pretty much means finding the studs in the wall so the new wall-mounted station can be attached to them.

As I’m screwing in the last screw, the owner of the neighboring business runs in and says there’s water coming out from the wall on their side. I look down, and the same thing is starting to happen on our side.

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I go shut off the incoming water on our side. The leak continues. Another WTF? So I go back and shut off the water into the neighbors unit. The leak stops. SRSLY?

KHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!

We remove the station from the wall, and find where water is leaking out of one of the screw holes. So I start cutting the Sheetrock out to figure out what the Hell happened. And what do I find?

This pretty much sums up the kind of luck I have.

Yep, in the entire length of stud, I find a water pipe. That wasn’t marked. And isn’t ours. Yet it’s on our side of the firewall. And there were no strike-plates warning or marking it’s existence.

Another trip to Lowe’s. To get piping to replace that section. Which I do. And gets done.

I am sometimes okay with the fact that I’m a jack-of-a-lot-of-handiness, but sometimes all I can do is just *sigh*.

We get that mess cleaned up, then install the station. Again. With no more issues after that point.

Luckily it was Beveraging Monday and I was able to consume massive amounts of gin and tonic. Which I needed after that. And a special thank you to some dear friends who allowed me to continue beveraging in the safety of their home and sleep it off there as well.

Eight stations down. Here’s hoping the last three go… better.

Until next time...
Erik

14 thoughts on “The reason alcohol was created….

    1. What? Doesn’t everyone speak like Yoda? Sometimes I speak like GIR. And sometimes I speak like a random assortment of other cartoon characters as well. Which really gets confusing when it comes to internal dialog. Or even a “normal” conversation with me.

  1. (a) You weren’t the guy on the motorcycle.
    (b) You will discover—to your annoyance—that as you get older and move into “middle age” your patience starts dropping drastically. I know it’s hit me HARD, and I wish I knew there was a cure for it.
    (c) I hope you have better luck with the remaining stations. I know that in my current state, if I’d punched a hole in a water line I would’ve just collapsed on the floor and cried.

  2. You’re handy! I have to say that I didn’t know what the shoe was called. I knew what it *was*, just not what it … was.

    1) that you can do any of this at all = A+
    2) that you can do it under those conditions and NOT have a coronary = A++
    3) that you didn’t go balistic and kick the wall in like the Tazmanian Devil when you figured out that the water line had been screwed into = A+++++++++

    I’m super impressed that you can build stuff in the first place. Yay you 🙂 I can build software, but that’s about it. And that was in the olden days when I did such things.

    Perspective, dear; perspective. I’m impressed that you called the Rain – maybe you have a latent shamanic gift? You clearly called the Water to you at the shop, also. Check into this. Water must be your friend. You might have a new career looming on your horizon!

    🙂

    1. I have no real idea where the handiness came from. I think it appeared out of necessity more than anything.

      I’ll take an “A” on my report card any day. 😉

      And oddly enough, I don’t like water. At least I’m not a fan of being in it. I’m okay to be near or next to, but just not in.

  3. I’m so in awe of you. I’m not handy at all. A bit handsy, maybe.

    In reading all of your woes during the course of your day, I am reminded of my father and the “one thing after another” days he would have when trying to just get something done. My point is that it happens to the best of them. I can barely change a door knob without locking myself out of the room.

    1. Handsy is way better. 😉

      I’ve done that before! The changing a door know and locking bit. But I locked myself in the room. Luckily I could pop the hinge pins out and get out. Or else you wouldn’t be reading this….

  4. The good thing is it’s all over! I have never had the least bit of enjoyment or luck using a circular saw. I’m a champ with a saber saw–I can do wonders with one, but a circular saw and I always turns out badly.

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