Monthly Archives: February 2013

Showing My Ass

Not in the metaphorical sense. This time.

Friday, January 4, I posted this status update on Facebook that some of you might have seen:

I have an enormous zit or ingrown hair on my right butt check that needs to be popped. I just thought y’all should know.

Because that’s what it felt like.

Here’s what it looked like early Saturday morning, January 5:

01/05/2013 12:40 AM
01/05/2013 12:40 AM

At that point, I started to think it was an ingrown hair that I had maybe scratched and irritated somehow. I mean with the light fuzz and all, and being in a rub zone, that’s always a possibility. Right?

In the days after that, I decided there’s no way it was a zit. It felt like there was a nodule below it. Almost like it was a cyst. And nothing would really come out when it was squeezed. Because I kept trying to squeeze it.

I had the Husbear attempt to pop it a couple of times. Ouch. That didn’t really make it any better. And not much of anything really came out when he tried, other than some white sludge.

Then it started leaking. Kind of. More like draining. So I put a band-aid on it. When I pulled the band-aid off at night, it was disgusting.

I knew I needed to go to the doctor. Not The Doctor. But my general doctor.

Here’s what it looked like four days later on January 9 after visiting the doctor:

01/09/2013 8:10 PM
01/09/2013 8:10 PM

Here’s a slightly better close up:

01/09/2013 8:10 PM
01/09/2013 8:10 PM

The doctor thought it was possibly a spider bite. Which is highly probably considering where we live out in the country. He also thought maybe the bite wound also contained staph. Joy. So he put my on the most powerful antibiotics I have ever been on in my life. And also I had to irrigate the location and apply some antibiotic ointment to the site multiple times a day.

He also said the entire picking and attempting to pop it that I tried didn’t help matters any.

10 days after visiting the doctor. The Band-Aids are tearing up my skin:

01/20/2013 1:01 PM
01/20/2013 1:01 PM

19 days after visiting the doctor. It’s getting better:

01/29/2013 1:13 PM
01/29/2013 1:13 PM

And here we are, 42 days since I first noticed the problem, and 37 days after visiting the doctor:

02/14/2013 @ 11:28 AM
02/14/2013 11:28 AM

I’m really hoping that discoloration goes away from where the bite site was.

I’m not sure what the moral of the story is, other than: if it feels like a big zit, it probably isn’t, and I should probably get it checked.

Until next time...
Erik

Just a Jeep Guy’s TMI Questions: Sex Questionnaire

Sean over at Just a Jeep Guy does a weekly TMI questionnaire. Fun, slightly embarrassing questions designed to reveal Too Much Information for my blog, between you and your significant other, and among you and your friends and/or family.

I don’t always do the TMI questionnaires, but I figured what the hell with this one. Mostly because it’s the questions everyone always seems to ask anyway.

It’s very simple this week: How many of the following sex questions can you answer yes to? No explaining (unless you want to), no admissions (unless you want to), no comments (unless you want to), just the total number you can answer YES to. You can also add questions (if you want to).

HAVE YOU EVER:

1. had intercourse?
2. oral sex?
3. licked an ass?
4. had your ass licked?
5. had sex with someone without knowing their name?
6. swallowed cum?
7. practiced bondage or BDSM?
8. had anal sex?
9. had an orgasm from anal sex?
10. had sex while on hard drugs?
11. had sex with someone of the opposite orientation?
12. been in a threesome?
13. been in a foursome?
14. been in an orgy?
15. been in a gangbang?
16. had sex in public?
17. snowballed?
18. had your toes licked or sucked?
19. licked or sucked someone’s toes?
20. had sex with more than one person (1 on 1 only) in a day?
21. had sex with more than one person (1 on 1 only) in a week?
22. had cyber sex or phone sex?
23. been double penetrated?
24. watched porn?
25. bought a dirty magazine?
26. posted nude pictures of yourself on the net?
27. let someone video tape you having sex?
28. sex without protection?
29. had someone give you a cum facial or given someone a cum facial?
30. participated in a golden shower?
31. sex with a friend’s significant other?
32. had sex with one of your significant other’s friends or relatives?
33. cheated on your significant other?
34. made someone pass out from sex?
35. had your ass slapped during sex?
36. tasted your own cum?
37. masturbated?
38. let someone watch you masturbate?
39. showed yourself naked on cam?
40. had a wet dream?
41. been submissive in bed?
42. had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?
43. had sex in a vehicle?
44. been caught having sex?
45. paid for sex?
46. used toys during sex?
47. used food during sex?
48. enjoyed pain from a little to extreme during sex?
49. been dominated in bed?
50. enjoyed having your nipples licked, sucked, or bitten?
51. been fisted?
52. been with a cock over 10 inches?
53. sucked a cock with a PA?
54. been fucked by a cock with a PA?
55. dressed in costumes?
56. role played?
57. been to a sex club?
58. had sex with a third or with your partner?
59. had sex with a coworker at work?
60. had pity sex?
61. gotten a std?
62. had sex with someone 25 years or more younger than you?
63. had sex with someone 25 years or more older than you?
64. had sex with a famous person?
65. had sex on a plane?
66. had sex on a train?
67. had sex in a movie theater?
68. had sex involving scat?
69. used a vegetable?
70. had sex in an open bar?
71. had interracial sex?
72. had sex with a Mormon?
73. had sex with someone who had a prosthetic?
74. had sex with a ex-convict?
75. had sex with a blogger?

Fair warning for family and friends who may run across this: you may not want to read any further.

Out of the 75 questions, I can answer “yes” to 44 of them, with 4 I’m not sure about.

I wasn’t sure if I should actually show the yeses and noes, but what the hell. It’s not like I’m running for public office. And if I do, it’s not like this won’t come out in the discovery phase. But if you really want to know how I answered the questions…

HAVE YOU EVER:

1. had intercourse? Yes
2. oral sex? Yes, and Yes
3. licked an ass? Yes
4. had your ass licked? Yes
5. had sex with someone without knowing their name? Yes
6. swallowed cum? Yes
7. practiced bondage or BDSM? No
8. had anal sex? Yes, and Yes
9. had an orgasm from anal sex? Yes, and Yes
10. had sex while on hard drugs? No
11. had sex with someone of the opposite orientation? No
12. been in a threesome? Yes
13. been in a foursome? Yes
14. been in an orgy? No
15. been in a gangbang? No
16. had sex in public? No
17. snowballed? No
18. had your toes licked or sucked? Yes
19. licked or sucked someone’s toes? Yes
20. had sex with more than one person (1 on 1 only) in a day? Yes
21. had sex with more than one person (1 on 1 only) in a week? Yes
22. had cyber sex or phone sex? Yes
23. been double penetrated? Yes
24. watched porn? Yes
25. bought a dirty magazine? Yes
26. posted nude pictures of yourself on the net? Yes
27. let someone video tape you having sex? No
28. sex without protection? Yes
29. had someone give you a cum facial or given someone a cum facial? Yes
30. participated in a golden shower? No
31. sex with a friend’s significant other? Yes
32. had sex with one of your significant other’s friends or relatives? No
33. cheated on your significant other? No
34. made someone pass out from sex? No
35. had your ass slapped during sex? Yes
36. tasted your own cum? Yes
37. masturbated? Yes
38. let someone watch you masturbate? Yes
39. showed yourself naked on cam? Yes
40. had a wet dream? Yes
41. been submissive in bed? Yes
42. had sex with someone you knew less than an hour? Yes
43. had sex in a vehicle? Yes
44. been caught having sex? No
45. paid for sex? No
46. used toys during sex? Yes
47. used food during sex? Yes
48. enjoyed pain from a little to extreme during sex? Yes
49. been dominated in bed? Yes
50. enjoyed having your nipples licked, sucked, or bitten? No
51. been fisted? No
52. been with a cock over 10 inches? Possibly
53. sucked a cock with a PA? Yes
54. been fucked by a cock with a PA? No
55. dressed in costumes? Yes
56. role played? Yes
57. been to a sex club? No
58. had sex with a third or with your partner? Yes (this question doesn’t make sense)
59. had sex with a coworker at work? No
60. had pity sex? Yes
61. gotten a std? No
62. had sex with someone 25 years or more younger than you? No
63. had sex with someone 25 years or more older than you? No
64. had sex with a famous person? No
65. had sex on a plane? No
66. had sex on a train? No
67. had sex in a movie theater? No
68. had sex involving scat? No
69. used a vegetable? Yes
70. had sex in an open bar? No
71. had interracial sex? Maybe
72. had sex with a Mormon? Maybe
73. had sex with someone who had a prosthetic? No
74. had sex with an ex-convict? Maybe
75. had sex with a blogger? Yes

If you want to know more, you’re just going to have to ask… 😉

Until next time...
Erik