On Death

This is not one of my normally light, fluffy, buttery posts.

Some of you will recognize the following quote as one spoken by Tasha Yar from “Star Trek: The Next Generation”, in her holo-will after she was killed during the episode called “Skin of Evil”:

Death is that state where one lives only in the memory of others, which is why it is not an end. No goodbyes—just good memories.

But what happens to those good memories when you’re the one who finds that person dead?

I could talk about the fear of finding your loved one of many years dead when you’re both old and gray.

I’m not talking about that particular fear. At least not today.

What happens when you find a person dead, when that person didn’t die from natural/expected causes but because they took their own life?

What happens to those good memories then?

I received a call from my sister early Friday morning. Never a good sign to begin with, one because she called, and two because she called.

She had distressing news to relay to me.

A little background. My father owns a plant nursery in Central Florida. My two brothers have followed in my father’s footsteps and work at the nursery. My sister did as well, until her husband started his own, where she now works. Definitely a family affair, sans me. That’s a different story for a different time.]

Most of the employees at the nursery have been there for years. Many since I was a child. So many of the employees are/were like family. I guess my dad pays well.

Back to the story in progress.

Thursday, my two brothers found the foreman after he had hung himself. At the family nursery.

From what I gathered from conversations with each of the three siblings, my brothers acted admirably. And did the same things I would have done to handle the situation.

But now my siblings, especially my brothers, are bouncing around all the thoughts and questions one would expect.

And they all start with “Why”. And both brothers have said in separate conversations, “I just wish i hadn’t seen it personally.”

There was a note, but it’s contents are unknown. The investigators haven’t divulged it’s content. Maybe when and if that happens, then some questions *might* be answered.

All I could do was tell them I’m here if they need someone to talk with.

But that still won’t erase that image from their minds, nor rid the feelings my brothers have surrounding what happened.


Until next time...

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