Original

Since I’m in the meme mood this month, I stole this from Dave at Blogography.

1. When you have a container of Neapolitan ice cream, what flavor do you leave for last?
I don’t remember the last time I had Neapolitan, but it had to be at least a decade ago I’m betting. I would usually leave the pink color for someone else. I never liked the taste of the fake strawberry stuff.

2. Would you rather be caught in a thunderstorm without an umbrella or a snowstorm without boots?
A thunderstorm without an umbrella. I don’t mind getting wet. Cold, on the other hand, is a no-go.

3. Let’s say you have access to a time machine, but it can only go either backward or forward. One or the other. Which do you choose and where do you go?
So it’s a one-way trip? Because once I’m at the destination, I have to go the opposite way to get back.

4. If you could choose to have any superpower ever, what would you pick?
Flight. Because then I wouldn’t have to go to the dang airport ever again.

5. Tomorrow morning, you wake up in the body of a celebrity, like in a ’90s body-swap movie. Who is it? How do they react to your life? What do you do when you’re “them”? Would you choose to switch back?
I’m not going to lie, I’m saying this because I want to see the person naked. And this is probably the only way that will happen. But I’m going to say Ty Olsson, my current famous person man-crush. And I’m sure we’d switch back once he found out how boring my life is.

6. Any allergies?
I’m allergic to stupid. And it gets more intense the less young I get.

7. What would you be more embarrassed to buy: sex toys or adult diapers?
Adult diapers.

8. Did you get enough sleep last night?
No.

9. You’re the sole witness to a Mafia murder. Witness protection has to set you up with a whole new life in a totally new country. You have to leave everything behind, but you can pick where you move to. Where do you go?
Somewhere pretty in Australia.

10. If you could star in a biopic about any famous person ever, who would it be?
Fred Schneider from the B-52’s? Seriously, I have no idea.

11. What’s the biggest animal you’ve ever killed? Bugs count.
A wolf. With my car.

12. Would you rather have millions of dollars but always feel nauseous when you go outside, or be dirt poor forever but never get sick again in your life?
I’d prefer to never get sick again.

13. A wizard offers you immortality in exchange for your two front teeth. Do you take it?
They make these things called a “bridge”…

14. Could you win the Hunger Games?
I’d have to know what the “Hunger Games” are. Is this something Sally Struthers is involved with?

15. What was your favorite Halloween costume as a kid? How about as a teen/adult?
I don’t recall having a favorite.

16. Do you bite your nails?
Sometimes.

17. What was the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?
Probably one of the original “Star Wars” movies. Or “Fox and the Hound”.

18. Do you prefer music with male or female vocalists?
Thinking about it, I would say female.

19. You and the love of your life are having a baby, and you get to choose the name! There’s only one catch: your partner INSISTS that it be the name of a place, real or fictional. What do you name your baby?
It’d have to be something like “Bald Knob”, a town here in Arkansas. 😉

20. If you could reboot or remake any movie, what would it be and who would you cast?
No. No. No! Hollywood needs to start coming up with original content and quit remaking things.

21. If you could automatically know how to speak any language or play any instrument, which would you choose? Probably instrument. I’m more likely to use that than I am a different language.

22. For you, would getting amnesia be a good thing?
Are we talking TV show amnesia, or the real deal?

23. If you curse loudly and then realize that there are children nearby, what is your reaction?
I tell them: “Say that to your parents when you’re mad.”

24. Of what animal are you most afraid?
Humans.

25. Pizza or oral sex?
Both. I’m not sure about at the same time, but definitely both.

26. Without looking them up, can you explain the rules of football? How about Quidditch? What do you think that says about you?
No. And no.

27. You’re in the car, switching channels on the radio when you hear a song that makes you go “OH SHIT, THAT’S MY JAM!” What song is it?
First, I would never say that. Second, it would probably be any of the songs on my iDevice that have a 5-star rating. So you’re just going to have to wait for a car ride with me to find out.

28. Have you ever paid to see a Step Up movie? If not, how much would someone have to pay YOU to see a Step Up movie?
I don’t even know what that is.

29. If you were being executed tonight, what would you choose for your last meal?
Why am I being executed? I think I’m a little more concerned about that than dying on a full stomach.

30. Have you ever bought an item of clothing because it reminded you of something a fictional character would wear?
Not that I recall…

31. If you were invisible for a day, what would you do?
All sorts of things, but mostly just moving things around to jack with peoples heads.

32. Have you ever been punched in the face?
Yes. Twice that I recall.

33. How do you take your ramen noodles?
Cooked. With the packet of flavoring in it.

34. Do you ever rehearse or plan conversations before you actually have them?
Occasionally. Just because that’s how my brain works.

35. How much black do you wear on a regular basis (not counting funerals)?
Not much. I have a few t-shirts that are black with designs on them. I’m more a color person.

36. Do you have any tattoos? Do you want any?
Umm… duh?

37. If someone offered you a free pet snake, would you take it? It’s not dangerous or really big or anything. They’re just moving to a place that doesn’t allow pets.
No. I’m not a fan of reptiles.

38. Do you know how to pronounce the word “pinochle”?
I do now.

39. Can you think of anything more boring than birdwatching?
Yes. Having to go to “meetings”.

40. Are you better with numbers or words?
I’m equally bad with both of them. That’s why I seem to do memes so often.

41. At the movies, do you stay for the credits?
On occasion. Mostly because I hate dealing the the crowd rush leaving the theatre.

42. Is morality universal or relative?
Both. Simultaneously.

43. Let’s say you’re getting married to someone you absolutely adore. The only catch is that you met them through a Craigslist hookup ad that was supposed to be just for one night of casual sex. Would you tell your friends how you and your fiance met?
So, replace “Craigslist” with “AOL m4m” and it’s true.

44. What’s the worst name you’ve ever been called?
With my last name, there have been many variations. Those always bothered me as a kid. And then there’s a few derogatory names for being homosexual that have also been hurled my way.

45. Would you eat human flesh if it had been harvested and prepared humanely? (Say, from someone brain-dead who had marked him or herself down as an organ donor – same difference, right?)
Why not. I’m betting humans taste like chicken anyway.

46. At what age did you stop believing in Santa? Alternately, if you never believed in Santa, did you ever ruin Santa for anyone else?
I don’t remember what age, but I know it was long before I was a teenager. And I don’t recall if I actually believed in Santa or not.

47. Do you get along better with old people or little kids?
Old people. I dislike kids.

48. If you had to choose, would you rather become a nun/monk or a drug dealer?
How about a drug-dealing monk? That seems like a good cover to me.

49. What’s your best bodily feature, objectively speaking?
My leg tattoos. Does that count? I’ve never been a fan of my body. I’d say it’s some sort of Body Dysmorphic Disorder, but I’ve never been evaluated.

50. Who is your favorite late night talk show host?
I don’t have one. I don’t watch late night talk shows. Or much other TV other than binge watching some program that’s not on the air anymore.

Until next time...
Erik

4 thoughts on “Original

  1. 43. Let’s say you’re getting married to someone you absolutely adore. The only catch is that you met them through a Craigslist hookup ad that was supposed to be just for one night of casual sex. Would you tell your friends how you and your fiance met?
    My husband of 17 years and I met at the bathhouse in Reno, Nevada where he had just gone to work. We do tell our friends how we met.

Leave a Reply