First, happy whatever-it-is-you-call-this-holiday-time to you and those around you.

The Husbear and I (Xmas 2001)

I originally started the below post on September 13 of this year but never published it.

Until now.

My parent’s wedding anniversary was on September 7 and my brother’s wedding anniversary was on September 9.

I didn’t send a card or call either couple this year to acknowledge their “special” day.

I have been a little pissy the last few days. My apologies.

The Husbear and I have been together for over 11 years. Not once has anyone in my family acknowledged our being together as “a couple”, let alone our “anniversary”. One will occasionally inquire as to how the Husbear “is doing”, but it’s far from the norm.

Sure—we haven’t had a formal “tying the knot” ceremony. But one would think after any couple has been together for a decade, certain family members would at least acknowledge it.

Okay. I’m done. For now.

Or not.

There’s also a lack of coming to visit me (or us). I’ve lived in Arkansas since 1991. I’ve been visited by family members 3 times in the last 17 years that I’ve lived here—the last time being in 2003 for Xmas when my parents brought me a Bible with “don’t be gay or you’re going to hell” verses written on cards! Granted this is probably not a bad thing. No one really likes family hanging around, right?

What bothers me is I’m always asked “When are you coming down to visit?”. Why does it have to be me that makes the effort?

I’m dragging this draft out now because of this damned holiday (yes, I’m an Xmas hater…) and “happenings” similar to those mentioned above.

The Husbear and I received no holiday cards addressed to “us” from any of my immediate family members. No mention of him in any of them. Zip. Zero. Nada.

I know it hurts the Husbear when they exclude and ignore him. I can see it. And it has now started to anger me to the point that I do not want to have anything to do with my family!

I was purposely evil this holiday season and sent a card to my parent’s that had a HUGE “From the both of US” written on both the outside and inside of the card. (Trust me, it was hard to find one that fit my particular vein of evilness!) I’m betting the card did not go on public display for the rest of the family to see.

By the way, only one family member sent “us” a card—and he is a cousin who I really haven’t had much interaction with since we were little kids!

I know the “adult” thing would be for me to tell them my feelings and “how things are”. But thanks to their beliefs and organized religion I know where they stand—and they have said as much already.

Or do I just cut ties and wait for them to make the “first step” to mending the extremely eroded relationship?

The Husbear says I have to have contact with my family, and I know that.

I’m really not sure where to go from here….