Mark this post as one containing potentially T.M.I. about me, depending on how you know me.
So now that I piqued your curiosity, I’ll just say it: I have very little sex drive.
And by “very little”, I mean none. Zero. Zed. Zip. Nada.
Well, that’s not *entirely* true. Every now and then I get a wild hair. Maybe once a year. (Which is really saying something if that wild hair happens to be directed at you!) But that’s about it. Seriously. It’s rarer than a double rainbow. Even eunuchs have more sex drive than I do.
Are you surprised to hear that?
And what little drive I have is actually decreasing as I am getting older.
Physically, I don’t have a problem with any of the… plumbing. Everything functions as it should. Actually, you know that whole “if you have an erection lasting more than four hours” bit you hear on all those commercials? Yep. That well.
It’s the mental part of the libido in which I am lacking.
Even when I was a teenager, I never had any desire to have sex. Hell, I rarely even masturbated. Which for a teenager seems pretty messed up. Especially from a mental perspective. Think about all that I saw going on around me with other teenagers my age. All the sex and everything that led up to it that everyone else seemed to be having. It was everywhere. And I went to a private Christian school!
Add to that the internal conflict that I was fighting at the time with being gay, and things seemed even more messed up for me.
All of this is much to the Husbear’s dismay. He falls on the opposite end of the spectrum. Actually, I think medical labs harvest the extra testosterone he produces. Even at 46, he’s still extremely “active”. Multiple times of day active. (And no, I’m not saying 46 is old.) My lack of libido has probably been the one area in our life together that causes what little friction we have. Or lack of friction, as the case may be….
But it does seem like all the men I know: gay, straight, and “undecided”, have sex as often as they can and seem to do so at the drop of a hat. Seriously. I know that’s an extremely stereotypically statement to say, but I’ve yet to meet a man who doesn’t at least verbally boast as much. (Even though I’m betting there’s quite a few who really don’t. I’ve just yet to hear anyone say as much. Apparently it’s not the macho thing to do.)
The Husbear thinks I need to go get tested. “Hey Doc, can you test me for low sex drive?” Wait, I already know I have that. For a while I thought maybe I needed to go to counseling, but it seems like it’s more a physical “urge” that is lacking rather than a mental one. Even though I think the mental side is part of the combination.
Thoughts? Suggestions? What’s your experience? Or am I really just an odd duck?
Until next time...