It’s 28 degrees out right now. I’m so dang cold. I wish my fur wasn’t ornamental!
Today’s meme is brought to you by YvesPaul at Melodramatic Diary of a Cynic.
1. An unexpected blizzard occurs. The power goes out for 10 days. There is no food in the house, no gas in the car, no heat, no TV, no computer, nada! You are snowed in and can’t get to the store for supplies. How would you survive? How would you get out of this mess?
Our power goes out that much all the time here. I live in Arkansas, remember? But no gas in the car? How is that related to the others? Although I guess if we had so much snow that I couldn’t get out of the house, I’m sure my driveway would be near impassible anyway. If the power went out, we’d have no water since we have a well. And if we didn’t have water, that would mean eating snow. I’m not big on that idea. Unless maybe I had some of that purple sugary stuff to add to it. And if we had no food? Well, I guess a diet wouldn’t hurt. But NO heat? Hell to the no! We removed our wood-burning snow a couple years ago. I guess I’d have to reinstall it. Or fashion me some snowshoes out of a couple frying pans and trek my way into town.
2. Tell us about your last snowball fight.
I can honestly say I don’t remember having a snowball fight. I’m not much into snowballing.
3. You have been asked to make a snowman. What is his name?
Why must we be anthropomorphizing everything? I guess if I had to name him, it would be something like “Quetzalcoatl”. That sounds like a good name for a snowman. As he melts, he could do a little self-reflection.
4. I have mountains of snow outside my door. I would like to make snow soup. What is the recipe?
Why the hell would you make snow soup? Why not pull some Campbell’s Chunky out of the cabinet? And wouldn’t melted snow just be water? How is that soup?
5. It is Day 5 of the Big Blog Blizzard. You have been hunkered down for a very long time and in danger of losing your sanity. Your blog neighbors (that would be us) come callin’ to see if you’re OK. We peek in the window. What do we see? What are you doing in there?
I lost my sanity a long time ago. And how is it that you can get to my house, but I can’t get out? What’s up with that? And why are you peeking in my windows? You’d probably see the Husbear running around the house nekkid. And me bundled up like an Eskimo.
6. Who is the flakiest snowflake in your life?
I don’t know, but I would recommend “Head & Shoulders”.
7. You are Snow White. Which dwarf is your favorite and why?
How is this question even related? Aside from the word “snow” in her name? I’ve been called “Lily White”, and perhaps vanilla. But never “Snow White”. And do they like to be called “dwarfs”? That doesn’t seem very P.C. to me. “Vertically Challenged” seems more better. I don’t know that I have a favorite dwarf. They seem so callous and gruff. And I like my callous and gruff men tall.
8. What is the most fun you’ve ever had inside during a snowstorm?
Besides scratching myself occasionally while the DirecTV faded in and out because of the snow? If the power is out, I wouldn’t have any porn to watch. My phone would likely be dead. The Husbear would have had his 3 30 minutes of fun already. I guess I’d have to hunker down and actually find a physical book to read.
9. What was Jack Frost nipping at?
I actually know someone whose parents were cruel enough to name him Jack Frost. I’m not sure what bong water they drank when they thought it would be a great name. He hates it. I think he finally changed it to “Early”. As for what he was nipping at? Besides the bottle? Probably all the bits of me that stay bundled up when the weather gets below 55 degrees.
10. Due to blobal warming (that’s blog + global for all you non-blog speakers) your snowman has prematurely melted. What was his last request?
Another premature man. What’s with that? I’m guessing his last request would be to tell Argentina not to cry for him. The tell them the truth is he never left them. Through all his wild days. His mad existence. He kept his promise. Don’t keep their distance.
