Repetition, The only thing I can do.

I have this repeating “habit” of making myself available for some people… but only when it’s “convenient” for them and rarely—if ever—is it a mutual offering.

I am consciously aware that I do this; yet I can’t seem to be able to stop it.

I had this problem with one individual during and after college, and I only managed to get “over” it with the help of others. And that took almost a decade!

Now it is happening again. And I know it. And several others have even pointed this out to me, yet I still continue to do it and let it happen.

Why do I do this—even though it torments me to the point I want to tear my own heart out? How do I break this cycle? And more, how do I stop it from happening again in the future?

There are times I want to just close down and not let anyone in or do anything with anyone else. It often seems the only way to me that I can stop this. I know that is not the answer. At least not a healthy one. Yet I am still torn.

Until next time...
Erik

Pretty Little Hate Meme

Absconded from Melodramatic Diary of a Cynic. Hate was a little strong for me, so I used “dislike” instead.

1. Most hated disliked food.
Anything with Bell peppers in it. *barf*
Spanish rice is a close second.

2. Most hated disliked person.
Not sure. There are people I have issue with, is that the same thing?

3. Most hated disliked job.
That I’ve had? Working for my father on his plant nursery.

4. Most hated disliked city.
I really haven’t been to a city yet that I haven’t found something I could like in it. Probably the first one I get mugged or bashed in would be it though.

5. Most hated disliked band.
Almost every band in both the “Rap” and the “Religious” sections of music stores.

6. Most hated disliked website.
Oddly enough, my tattoo studio’s. Which I created and maintain. I’m never happy with it.

7. Most hated disliked TV program.
All the tattoo “reality” shows on TV. Drama! They give people an incorrect perception of what it’s like to get a tattoo. And then some of the things they do go against my bloodborne pathogens training, and sometimes common sense!

8. Most hated disliked politician.
All of them that I know of so far! They got to where they are by promising the world and delivering none of it. And why do we still have this system of government?? Oh yeah… sheeple.

9. Most hated disliked artist.
Since #5 was about bands, I’m assuming this means “artist” of the non-musical sort. And I mostly dislike those who produce “conceptual art“.

10. Most hated disliked book.
The Bible, the Qur’an, Mein Kampf, etc. Seriously. Weigh the amount of hate these volumes have inspired versus the amount of good works done over their history.

11. Most hated disliked shop or store.
I want to say Walmart, but that wouldn’t be entirely true. As a business owner myself, I respect many of the early business practices that Mr. Sam followed and created when he started his company. Since his death those have changed, and with that, so has the company.

12. Most hated disliked organization.
Wal-Mart Stores, Inc., or the HRC. I’m not sure which I dislike more now.

13. Most hated disliked historical event.
The creation of organized religions.

14. Most hated disliked sport.
That would imply I watch sports… right? Which I don’t. Unless I’m in a sports bar and there’s some hot daddy on the television at the moment.

15. Most hated disliked technology.
DRM: Worst. Idea. Ever.

16. Most hated disliked annual event.
Pretty much every event Hallmark makes a card for, but mostly Christmas.

17. Most hated disliked daily task.
Sleeping. Maybe because of the fact that I do not sleep well.

18. Most hated disliked comedian.
I have no idea. Most of them are hit and miss, just like everyone else I know.

19. Most hated disliked blog.
My own. Because I have a hard time coming up with things to write about.

20. Most hated disliked song.
Most songs that inspire patriotic fervor, but especially Lee Greenwood’s “Proud To Be An American”. *blech*

Until next time...
Erik

Remembering Griz: You were a great dog.


Griz and the Husbear.

Our oldest dog, Griz, died sometime last night, October 12, 2009.

Griz was laying there when we found him this morning like he was asleep. Which I guess is the way we wish we could all go when it’s our time to begin the next stage of the circle of life.

As of late we could see that Griz was getting on in years. He used to go for walks with the Husbear down our country road. Over time, he wouldn’t walk as far and would wait for the Husbear to come back. Eventually he would just hang out at the end of the driveway and wait for the Husbear.

For the last week or so we knew his time left with us was short. He wouldn’t eat much. He’d just sleep, or lay around and watch us. We’d go sit with him, pet him, and talk with him when we could.

I have to confess that a few nights ago I sat with him and cried for a while because I knew he wouldn’t be with us much longer.

We went to the shelter looking for a puppy on February 02, 2004. There were quite a few puppies to be had, but there was one large adult dog who looked very… sad. I helped talk the Husbear into adopting him. I told him that people would adopt puppies, but no one would probably adopt an adult dog. So we rescued him from the shelter.

We found out during the adoption process that he was scheduled to be put to sleep that week if no one adopted him because he had been there several months already.

The vet thought he was about six years old when we rescued him. That would put Griz around 12 years old or so when he died. We feel proud to have given him both a second chance and hopefully a great life.


Griz wanting his belly rubbed.

Griz,
You were a great dog. You will be missed.
Love,
Your daddies.

Until next time...
Erik

Do What You Want??

Sorry for the plethora of video posts lately. I really don’t have much that seems worthy of blogging as of late. Well, I rarely ever feel like I do actually. But that’s a different topic.

This video is about two years old, but I still like it. It’s from OK Go, the band who did the treadmill video that brought them into the spotlight. I think their music is actually quite good. There are actually two versions of this video. The other version might make you throw up from the camera movement.

I imagine this would be trippy to watch on mind-altering substances.

Sometimes I’d like to be able to blend into the wall.

Until next time...
Erik