Tag Archives: Q&A

Questions Answered, Part 4 (Religion)

In this previous post, I asked my lovely readers to ask me questions for each of six topics:

  1. Friends (answered here)
  2. Sex (answered here)
  3. Music (answered here)
  4. Religion
  5. Love
  6. Blogging

This post contains the answers for the questions that were asked under the “Religion” category.

And I’m answering most of these questions from the Christian point of view, as that’s the major religion I’m most familiar with, it’s the majority religion where I live, and I had been a part of previously.

RELIGION

Are all people born innocent, or are some damned right from the start?

Cubby

By born innocent/damned are you speaking of the christian concept of “Original Sin”? To damn a human from birth is just the beginning of organized religion’s attempt to seize control of an individual’s life.

All people are born… human. Thanks to variations in chemical and electrical composition some humans are more “off-balance” than those around them. Whether that alters the tendency of them to be more or less “innocent” will probably a matter of debate between scientists for generations.

Are you religious at all?

Not any longer. I don’t feel that there’s a hole in my life that I need to fill with some mystical mumbo-jumbo.

But I do take showers and wash my hands religiously.

Do you think that being gay and religious can be possible without conflict?

I think it depends on the religion, and the established attitudes in said practitioner’s religion.

Is there anything you miss about being involved in the church of your youth?

John

Not one thing. Except maybe the communion bread. I always liked eating a whole box of that because it tasted so good.

Are you religious or, if not, are your spiritual?

Will

I am no longer religious. And I don’t know that I’ve ever been spiritual.

Why do you think people are so desperate to hold onto and perpetuate religion, despite all the damage it causes, harm it does and lies it spreads and, more specifically, why do you think gay and lesbian people continue to want to be part of religious organizations that continue to attack and reject and despise them?

Sean

Sean, I’ll have to break your question into parts:

“Why do you think people are so desperate to hold onto and perpetuate religion…”

I believe some humans need a crutch to justify the things they do and the things they feel bad for doing. Organized religion is that crutch for many. They can blame the things they do on other “beings” i.e., “The devil made me do it.”, “God told me to do it.”, “I was possessed.”] and not take responsibility or accountability for their own actions.

“…despite all the damage it causes, harm it does and lies it spreads…”

To quote Brian Warner (aka Marilyn Manson): “I’m not against god. I’m against the misuse of god, and the victimization of people through guilt and these ideas of sin.”

Humans typically like to feel better about themselves than those around them. And they like to be part of “the majority” that makes them feel good, even if the things they do are actually bad. Mob mentality at its finest.

To me that sums up what christian religion is about. And that is why I want no part of it.

“…why do you think gay and lesbian people continue to want to be part of religious organizations that continue to attack and reject and despise them?”

I personally think because it’s familiar: it’s something that most of them grew up with, and I think they long to be part of a larger community, even if it’s one that is both damning and damaging.

And because the gays don’t have regular weekly meetings.

Until next time...
Erik

Questions Answered, Part 3

In this previous post, I asked my lovely readers to ask me questions for each of six topics:

  1. Friends (answered here)
  2. Sex (answered here)
  3. Music
  4. Religion
  5. Love
  6. Blogging

This post contains the answers for the questions that were asked under the “Music” category.

MUSIC

If the B-52s were a food, what would it be and what would you do with it?

Cubby

I’d say they would be the magical five loaves that Jebus fed to everyone. And I’d do the same.

That, or they’d be Twizzlers. Making mouths happy!

Why do you think people identify with/support/love the music/musicians they do so fervently, to the point of waiting in line 10 hours for tickets or hating people who do not share their love for the pop star du jour or make videos on you tube crying because people are picking on their favorite diva? (I’m not talking “I love this band and have all their albums and would love to see them in concert” kind of fandom; I’m talking “If you say a bad thing about Madonna I will stab you with this knife because I sold a kidney once to buy nose bleed tickets at a concert that raises money for a hospitality house that is next door to where a guy lived that once saw Madonna in an airport” kind of fandom.) Is there any music or musician that has earned such devotion from you ever and if so who?

Sean

To me that type of obsession is really no different than stalking, which I think indicates some sort of mental imbalance (e.g., John Hinckley’s obsession with Jodie Foster). And I’ve never been that crazy about any musician before. Yet.

What’s the music you put on to calm you down when you’re stressed or angry or upset?

It really varies. If it’s on my iDevice, it’s pretty much fair game. So maybe music in general helps calm me down? To me it’s more a volume thing. If I’m stressed/angry/upset, the volume of the music is definitely at a lower level than normal, almost like elevator muzak in the background.

If you could see any band live that you’ve never seen before, which would it be?

Green Day. Or Def Leppard.

Do you have any special music that transports you to the Divine?

Urspo

I don’t know if I have any actual particular music that does that for me, but there are certain instruments, sounds, melodies, tempos, and chords that do take me somewhere else. And these appear in any number of genre of music for me.

What single genre of music would most represent who you are? (Not necessarily your favorite)

John

I don’t know if there’s one single genre that represents me. I’m pretty much “the entire music store” kind of guy.

Until next time...
Erik

Questions Answered, Part 2 (Let’s talk about sex.)

In this previous post, I asked my lovely readers to ask me questions for each of six topics:

  1. Friends (answered here)
  2. Sex
  3. Music
  4. Religion
  5. Love
  6. Blogging

This post contains the answers for the questions that were asked under the “Sex” category. Which seems to be the category most of you seem most interested in for some reason…. I wonder why that is?

There were a few combo questions that were asked as well.

FRIENDS and SEX

Do you and/or Hubby have sex with friends? Do you think it is possible to have sex with friends without ruining the friendship?

Will

We both have before, but not often. And I think it’s possible, depending on the friend and their maturity level and attitudes about sex.

Do you believe sex between friends is a bad idea? Is it possible for two people to have a sexual experience together without it completely disrupting their friendship and ability to function “normally” afterwards as they might have before? If not, why do you think sex is the one thing two people can’t do together without it becoming a “thing” that must change the nature of their relationship and/or ability to be friends? Is that a natural occurrence or is it because of how we have been raised and socialized to believe sex is something that should only occur within the parameters of societal acceptability and endorsed relationships?

Sean

I personally don’t think it’s a bad idea, but I can only speak for myself. And I personally think it’s possible depending on the friend and their maturity level and attitudes about sex. But I don’t think it’s possible for all friendships, or all people. For some people, sex is just sex. Other people get all… emotional.

And I think my above statement is based on my belief that attitudes of sex are learned (like many things). We are taught by our families, who are taught by society and religion. Sometimes we never get passed what we’re taught, and other times we go off the deep end.

SEX

What was your sluttiest, sleaziest, (yet fun) sexual experience?

cb

I knew the answer to that until you said “yet fun”. So I’ll have to think of a different story.

I guess I’ll go with this one, as it’s the second one that popped into my head.

I used to have a job at a gas station, working third shift. Which consisted of me cleaning during long stretches of no one coming in to the store. One night, some tall, hot guy came in and asked where the restroom was. I pointed him in the direction, and as he closed the door, he gave me “the look”. Normally, I don’t pick up when someone is flirting with me or hitting on me. But for whatever random reason, I did this time. So I wandered over and into the restroom.

And stuff happened. 😉

When was the last time you shot over your head?

Cubby

Just a few days ago, actually. That tends to be a common “event” for me. Shield your eyes when I’m around.

Sex, you’ve spoken of you lack of desire. Do you find sex with strangers (like when you were in New Orleans) “easier”? When you are on vacation do you play together with hook ups? You and the Husbear are smokin’ hot. So one would figure that you both get naked on a regular basis…when you are not in the mood what does the Husbear do with his sexual energy.

thomas

I don’t know that I find sex with strangers any more easier than sex with people who aren’t. But I actually feel more pressure to have sex when I’m at events of the New Orleans nature (because that’s typically what goes on at events like that) so I definitely wouldn’t say it’s any easier in those circumstances.

The Husbear and I rarely play together, at least in this point in our relationship. We both have different tastes and interests when it comes to men.

The Husbear has plenty of channels for his sexual energy. More channels than are available on cable TV!

And thank you for the compliment. 😉

Would you let someone kiss you after they rimmed you?

To quote a line from one of my favorite movies, Clerks II: “Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it’s forgivable to go ass to mouth.” 😉

Have you ever had sex with a blogger buddy?

Urspo

Yes I have, but I shan’t name blogs. 😉

In one word, what was the first time with a guy like?

John

Illuminating.

Do you have spontaneous orgasms when you’re on the bottom?

Raybob

I don’t know about your definition of the word “spontaneous”, but I do have a tendency to “pop” without having to be touched. On the outside. If that’s what you mean.

SEX and MUSIC

What music do you listen while having sex?

I usually don’t listen to music when I’m having sex, aside from the a capella soundtrack being created consisting of rhythmic heavy breathing and moaning. 😉

Until next time...
Erik

Questions Answered, Part 1

In this previous post, I asked my lovely readers to ask me questions for each of six topics:

  1. Friends
  2. Sex
  3. Music
  4. Religion
  5. Love
  6. Blogging

This post contains the answers for the questions that were asked under the “Friends” category.

FRIENDS

You are having an existential crisis and need to get something off of your chest immediately. A confession as it were. Who are you most likely to tell? A friend in person, a friend via voice/text/email/letter, an internet bud, a stranger on a chat site, or someone else? Who and why?

Cubby

An existential crisis? It’s been a long time since I had one of those. I guess it would really depend on the nature of said crisis. What did I do that I need to get off of my chest?

I guess depending on what it was that I needed to get off my chest, a long time ago I might have written about it here. Back before anyone actually read my blog at least. But now that people know of it’s existence, I guess that option is out the window. 😉

But I’m not usually one to go confessing. Litigation, loose ends, and all that. Usually I just bottle those things up inside. Which probably explains why my hair is graying so early.

If I had to, there are maybe four people I can think I would talk to in person if I needed to confess something (sans the Husbear). And I think they know who they are. As far as to why I would tell them? I’m not really sure I could define why, other than they’ve been there for me. And they probably wouldn’t be surprised by whatever it was I was confessing.

Friends – Did you ever watch it? What did you think?

I would see it at random times, mostly when I was flipping channels. But as it wasn’t science fiction it wasn’t on my must watch list. Although I guess if I really think about it, I think friendships like that really are things of science fiction.

What would be a deal breaker in your friendship with someone?

The only thing that comes to mind is talking negative about me or the Husbear behind my back, and not having the chutzpah to tell me to my face. Or them hearing someone else do that and not saying something to that person. There probably could be other deal breakers, depending on the level of friendship, but I really can’t think of any others at the moment.

Have any bloggers actually become “real friends”?

Urspo

I guess that depends on the definition of “real friend”. Is a real friend someone who will help you bury a body, not ask questions, and not worry about becoming a “loose end” that needs to be tied up?

Since I live in the middle of the US and every blogger I follow lives no where near here, it seems most of my blogger friendships have to be nurtured in a digital manner, which isn’t to say they couldn’t be real friends.

I would say there are a lot of bloggers I feel I know, at least from what they project of themselves on their blog and I would consider them friends in that manner. And there are some bloggers I talk to outside of the blog via email, other social media, or text messages which gives me more insight, a better understanding of and a deeper level of friendship with them.

Have you ever secretly fell in love with a friend?

John

Yes. But I don’t know how much of a secret it was.

Do you believe in the type of friendship portrayed on TV such as in “Friends” and “Sex and the City” – lifelong friends that stay together no matter what – and have you ever found such a friendship (“my spouse is my best friend” relationship aside) or do you believe, like most things in life, friendships are transitory and have a shelf life? Do you believe that people who have never met in person but only interact via the interwebs can truly be said to have a friendship? Do you believe friends have or should have any sort of obligation to you or responsibility for nurturing your friendship, or are they merely people you enjoy spending time with but are, in essence, outsiders who play no real role in your life beyond entertaining you and sharing the snacks?

Sean

I’ve not had anything that would resemble a lifelong friendship up to this point in my 38 years of life. So I’d say from my own personal viewpoint and experience that friendships are transitory. I’m not sure what that says about me as a person. Maybe I’m shallow?

I totally think it’s possible to have a friendship with someone I’ve never met in person, and I feel like I have several.

Like any relationship, I believe all parties have a part in nurturing a friendship. If only one person is making the effort, then it’s not really much of a relationship. Although I’ve been involved in relationships like that.

And I do think there are some people who are fun to be around if for only in that moment, and those “relationships” don’t need the same type of nurturing that other friendships have. Which isn’t to say they’re wrong. They just fill a different need.

Until next time...
Erik