Questions Answered, Part 1

In this previous post, I asked my lovely readers to ask me questions for each of six topics:

  1. Friends
  2. Sex
  3. Music
  4. Religion
  5. Love
  6. Blogging

This post contains the answers for the questions that were asked under the “Friends” category.


You are having an existential crisis and need to get something off of your chest immediately. A confession as it were. Who are you most likely to tell? A friend in person, a friend via voice/text/email/letter, an internet bud, a stranger on a chat site, or someone else? Who and why?


An existential crisis? It’s been a long time since I had one of those. I guess it would really depend on the nature of said crisis. What did I do that I need to get off of my chest?

I guess depending on what it was that I needed to get off my chest, a long time ago I might have written about it here. Back before anyone actually read my blog at least. But now that people know of it’s existence, I guess that option is out the window. 😉

But I’m not usually one to go confessing. Litigation, loose ends, and all that. Usually I just bottle those things up inside. Which probably explains why my hair is graying so early.

If I had to, there are maybe four people I can think I would talk to in person if I needed to confess something (sans the Husbear). And I think they know who they are. As far as to why I would tell them? I’m not really sure I could define why, other than they’ve been there for me. And they probably wouldn’t be surprised by whatever it was I was confessing.

Friends – Did you ever watch it? What did you think?

I would see it at random times, mostly when I was flipping channels. But as it wasn’t science fiction it wasn’t on my must watch list. Although I guess if I really think about it, I think friendships like that really are things of science fiction.

What would be a deal breaker in your friendship with someone?

The only thing that comes to mind is talking negative about me or the Husbear behind my back, and not having the chutzpah to tell me to my face. Or them hearing someone else do that and not saying something to that person. There probably could be other deal breakers, depending on the level of friendship, but I really can’t think of any others at the moment.

Have any bloggers actually become “real friends”?


I guess that depends on the definition of “real friend”. Is a real friend someone who will help you bury a body, not ask questions, and not worry about becoming a “loose end” that needs to be tied up?

Since I live in the middle of the US and every blogger I follow lives no where near here, it seems most of my blogger friendships have to be nurtured in a digital manner, which isn’t to say they couldn’t be real friends.

I would say there are a lot of bloggers I feel I know, at least from what they project of themselves on their blog and I would consider them friends in that manner. And there are some bloggers I talk to outside of the blog via email, other social media, or text messages which gives me more insight, a better understanding of and a deeper level of friendship with them.

Have you ever secretly fell in love with a friend?


Yes. But I don’t know how much of a secret it was.

Do you believe in the type of friendship portrayed on TV such as in “Friends” and “Sex and the City” – lifelong friends that stay together no matter what – and have you ever found such a friendship (“my spouse is my best friend” relationship aside) or do you believe, like most things in life, friendships are transitory and have a shelf life? Do you believe that people who have never met in person but only interact via the interwebs can truly be said to have a friendship? Do you believe friends have or should have any sort of obligation to you or responsibility for nurturing your friendship, or are they merely people you enjoy spending time with but are, in essence, outsiders who play no real role in your life beyond entertaining you and sharing the snacks?


I’ve not had anything that would resemble a lifelong friendship up to this point in my 38 years of life. So I’d say from my own personal viewpoint and experience that friendships are transitory. I’m not sure what that says about me as a person. Maybe I’m shallow?

I totally think it’s possible to have a friendship with someone I’ve never met in person, and I feel like I have several.

Like any relationship, I believe all parties have a part in nurturing a friendship. If only one person is making the effort, then it’s not really much of a relationship. Although I’ve been involved in relationships like that.

And I do think there are some people who are fun to be around if for only in that moment, and those “relationships” don’t need the same type of nurturing that other friendships have. Which isn’t to say they’re wrong. They just fill a different need.

Until next time...

5 thoughts on “Questions Answered, Part 1

  1. Good answers.

    I’m going on the record that friendships like those two shows (without some of the absurd dialogue and storylines) can happen. I’ve been friends with a core group of folks for 23+ years. Even though we no longer live in the same cities, we email – as a group – every single day since like 1998. When we get together, it’s like not a day has passed where we had not seen each other. Besides my husband, they are my core.

    1. I have envied that about you from the text and video postings on your blog. It seems like a great group of friends.

      And I’m curious: do you think this group would have been core had it not been composed of more than one person (besides yourself)? Do you think there’s a group effort that keeps the core the core?

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