Tag Archives: Q&A

Questions answered… All that’s left. Or right.

I received quite a few questions, both in the comments on the post and some in email form as people didn’t want to sound like cheeky monkeys.

This post contains all the remaining questions I was asked that I haven’t answered yet.

Is your beard as soft as it looks? Is it due to constant maintenance by the hubby, or is it naturally that way?

β€” Jeremy G!

The Husbear doesn’t maintain my facial hair for me. The only thing I do is shampoo and condition it like I do the hair on top of my head. Which either makes it nice and soft, or else it’s genetic.

It’s definitely a lot softer than some beards I’ve come into contact with. During those beard-on-beard moments. πŸ˜‰

Does your area have a food or dish that it’s known for? Something that was invented there or that just isn’t the same anywhere else?

I am not aware of any. I think since we’re in the South it’s pretty much anything fried. Which in true Southern fashion is everything.

Do you follow any webcomics?

Currently I follow: Fredo & Pid’jin, Spud Comics, WuMo, Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal, xkcd, and *Breakfast Included

If money were not necessary, how would you spend your days? Where would you go to do it?

β€” Raybob

I would travel. In an RV. Driving everywhere I could. To see what there is to see. And stop when I wanted to.

Would you ever consider visiting Canada… as in Vancouver Island?

β€” Doug Baker

Absolutely. Vancouver is on my list of places I want to go. I want to see all those locations in person that I’ve seen on all the television shows. πŸ˜‰

Are you a musician? Do you/have you ever played an instrument or sang, have you ever written a song?

β€” Raybob

I wouldn’t call myself a musician. At all. When I was a child, I was made to play the clarinet in elementary school. I didn’t like it. And later on, I was made to take piano lessons. I didn’t like it. Later on, I attempted to learn to play the guitar. It didn’t work out well. I don’t have any rhythm, so timing is an issue for me.

That said, in my head I do tend to compose different “songs”. Maybe instrumentals is a better word. But since I have no way to get the music out of my head and onto anything in a meaningful fashion, it will just be lost in my synapses.

Do you swim? Was Jacques Yves Cousteau ever a figure of legend for you?

β€” Raybob

I swim. Swimming is my preferred method of exercise. At least in a public pool. I don’t like lakes or the ocean though. And swimming in a river is just a little… rough. And I can see what’s in a pool.

I remember Jacques Cousteau from PBS specials when I was a child, but he wasn’t really any sort of hero or legend for me. Although I did enjoy watching his under-the-water specials when they aired.

Have you ever done drag? Do you ever *want* to do drag?

β€” Raybob

I’m assuming drag in the traditional sense as in drag queen, as opposed to cowboy or leather drag. The answer would be no. And I’ve never had a desire to either. That said, there is a picture of me with one of the salon’s wigs on somewhere. Not that I was in drag. I was just modeling it for someone.

Have you always wanted to be a man? Ever wanted to be a woman?

β€” Raybob

I can’t imagine not being a man. It’s all I’ve known, and all I want to be.

How did you meet The Husbear? Where, when and what did you do on your first date?

β€” JimA

We met online. American Online. In the arkansasm4m chat room. We’re old like that. πŸ˜‰

We talked on and off for about a month or so before we decided to meet in real life. On July 1, 1997, we met at the Rogers Walmart (a safe, public place ;-)) where we walked around and talked for a bit. And then we somehow made it back to my apartment. Where we proceeded to do… what guys do.

Have you ever had a cross-generational relationship?

β€” “Anonymously” via email

I had to look up what defined “cross-generational”. From what I could find, cross-generational is defined as relationships between people who are ten or more years older.

Yes would be the answer.

The first person I was with sexually was 20 years older than me at the time. The next person, 15 years older. Another one, about 20 years older. And the Husbear and I are 9 years and 11 months apart, so I’d say that counts.

Apparently I prefer older men. Or at least men older than myself.

Do you have sexual encounters outside your relationship, or do you and the Husbear sometimes entertain gentlemen in a threesome or moresome?

β€” “Anonymously” via email

We call it “being social”. The Husbear tends to be more social than I, as he’s more of a sexual being than I am. I’m just kind of “meh” when it comes to sex.

How do you wipe your ass?

β€” “Anonymously” via email

I actually have a blog post in draft all about this subject. It’s been in draft for over a year now. You’ll just have to wait for me to poop that one out. πŸ˜‰

What is the worst thing you have ever done?

β€” Ian

That’s probably relative as to how one defines the word “worst”. There are some things that I’ve done that looking back I’m not proud of. While they wouldn’t be classified as “worst” by a lot of people, I feel pretty bad for what I did.

When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? How did those dreams change as you aged?

β€” Raybob

I have memories of wanting to be an astronaut. I have always been fascinated with outer space. From staring at the stars and rocket launches through telescopes to reading everything I could get my hands on about space. As I got older, outer space turned into science fiction. And then the reality of my parents and their dreams for me happened. And then I just didn’t know what I wanted to do.

What are you longing for?

β€” Urspo

Whirled peas.

I don’t know that I truly long for anything, other than maybe the end of all organized religions.

What are your small and large passions, the things that move you at a very deep level? Poetry? Sunrises? Sunsets? Kittehs? The bite of the tattoo needle into virgin skin for the first time? Other?

β€” Raybob

I’d say the biggest passion would be seeing the wonderment and childlike joy of watching the Husbear go somewhere new to him or see something he’s never seen before. He kind of turns into a little kid, and it’s always a joy to see.

I would say I’m more of a “drifter” personality really. I don’t know that I have any real passions. I kind of go from one thing to the next. If someone could be “la te da”, that would be me.

Until next time...
Erik

Questions answered… Let’s talk about tattoos.

I received quite a few questions, both in the comments on the post and some in email form as people didn’t want to sound like cheeky monkeys.

I noticed several different categories of questions asked, so I’ve group them as such.

This round up is concerning all the tattoo-related questions I was asked.

Have you ever given someone a tattoo that was a total mess (either because of their decision or your mistake), but you kept a straight face and instead just reassured them about how good it was? My barber has great stories on this subject, so I guess you might as well.

β€” Patrick

That probably depends on how we define “total mess”.

I’ve had a few clients come in and want me to replicate something that a child or friend drew for them, which would be the equivalent of Comic Sans compared to Times New Roman. Or they wanted something rather hideous and I couldn’t persuade them into something better. For those I just have to bite my tongue and remind myself I’m giving them exactly what they want.

I can think of one tattoo in particular a long, long time ago that was attempted that shouldn’t have been done. Mostly because the subject matter wouldn’t translate well into a tattoo. And also because it was the first time I allowed a customer to rush me through the process. Neither of us were happy with the end result, and I definitely learned a few things from it.

As for the straight face, I’ve never had one of those. πŸ˜‰

How does one become a tattoo artist? Is there state boards to get accredited?

β€” StevieB

I can only answer for the state in which I live, Arkansas. Tattooing and body piercing is regulated by the Arkansas Department of Health and Human Services. (If you want, you can read a complete list of the rules here.)

The legal jargon:
“Tattoo, permanent cosmetic, and body piercing artists are required to be certified in Arkansas. Certification requirements include a minimum of six-month artist in training program with an artist who has been certified in Arkansas for a minimum of three years. The training facility must be approved by the Board of Private Career Education. An application for apprenticeship must be completed as well as a written exam which is based on the Rules and Regulations Pertaining to Permanent Cosmetic and Tattoo Establishments. A practical exam is conducted near the end of the training period.”

Which boils down to say that a prospective tattooist apprentices under a master artist to learn the craft. The apprentice is then tested by the Department of Health and Human Services. A license is then renewed yearly through the Department.

We have all seen posters that have been in the sun so long that only the cyan print is left. I’m curious as to whether there are any tattoo ink colors that fade faster than others.

Just like anything that’s left out in the sun eventually UV exposure takes its toll on tattoo pigment. Lighter colors like whites and yellows and pastel shades tend to blend into skin tones faster than colors that are darker. But even darker colors will fade over time when exposed to UV radiation.

Sunblock or wear protective clothing to extend the life of your artwork!

Did you have any angst before you got your first tattoo? Is there advice you give to clients who have angst?

β€” JimA

Oddly enough, I don’t remember any angst. Or much of anything about the experience. I think I was 20 when I got it. I don’t even remember the reason I got it either. I know alcohol wasn’t involved, as I wasn’t old enough to drink yet. That, and I lived in a dry county and went to a religious college. I don’t remember the tattoo hurting. I think I may have actually fallen asleep during the procedure. I’m a little odd. πŸ˜‰

As far as advice to clients. If I can tell someone is nervous or they say they are, I tell them the truth: it doesn’t hurt as bad as they think it’s going to, or as their friends have led them to believe. Granted, I’m a somewhat light-handed tattooist, so that makes a difference in the experience.

What is the funniest tattoo you’ve seen or one that you’ve done on someone?

β€” JimA

Funny is definitely in the eye of the beholder. There’s been a few that stand out. But probably the funniest one was on a client. She was easily in her 60s. She wanted a rose tattoo, with a stem and thorn. But with a man making up the stem. And as for the thorn….

Do you get aroused when you tattoo someone?

β€” Raybob

I have not. Yet. I’ve had several very, very drool-worthy clients to be sure. But I’ve always been extremely professional when it comes to my business. That, and my brain isn’t quite wired in the typical sexual way.

Have you ever pierced another human?

β€” Raybob

I have not. The piercing procedure makes me both squeamish and nervous. And it’s not something I have a desire to do, nor have I been trained or licensed to pierce anyone.

What made you want to become a tattoo artist?

β€” Richard

It was a suggestion from someone else, actually. I grew up doing all types of art things. It was always encouraged as a hobby by the parental units, but not something a respectable member of society would do. So I did the college thing. And then the working in IT for 15 years. Then the light came when the suggestion was made, and here I am now getting to use that art “hobby”.

What type of tattoos do you most like? What type do you most dislike?

β€” Richard

I LOVE cartoon/manga/anime-style tattoos. My favorite thing on the planet to do. I dislike most typical, solid black, tribal tattoos. Meh.

Until next time...
Erik

Questions answered… Let’s talk about sex.

I received quite a few questions, both in the comments on the post and some in email form as people didn’t want to sound… cheeky.

I’m okay with cheeky.

I noticed several different categories of questions asked, so I’ll group them as such.

And I guess I’ll start with all the sex-related questions I was asked, since there were so many of them…. πŸ˜‰

This is the “you’re going to learn more about Erik than you probably want to know” post.

When you were young and before you met HusBear, would you have considered having sex for money?

β€” Buddy Bear

I would have considered sex for free had I not been scared of sex! These days, I have to pay people to have sex with me! πŸ˜‰

What is your “I’m about to come” constellation? Husband begins breathing deeply, involuntarily twitching all his muscles, then making hot little noises. How ’bout you?

β€” Anonymously via email

I don’t know that I have one. I’m anticlimactic like that. Maybe I need to record a video to see.

What are your most sensitive parts, the places that really do it for you?

β€” Anonymously via email

I don’t really have any that I have found yet. Sadly, I think my wiring is faulty. Actually, I know I’m faulty. Nothing has really ever worked like it’s supposed to.

Does anything tender move you to tears?

β€” Anonymously via email

Nope. Again, faulty wiring.

What do you like the most, the best, sexually?

β€” Anonymously via email

I feel like I’m filling out one of those “about me” sections for those social apps. I love kissing, if the other person is a good kisser. I love rubbing bodies on each other. Hairy chest rubbing hairy chest. Hairy legs rubbing hairy legs. Facial hair rubbing facial hair. I love oral sex, both giving and getting.

What do you just love about being fucked?

β€” Anonymously via email

The feeling of a man on me and in me. It’s pretty much that simple.

What do you hate about sex?

β€” Anonymously via email

That I have sexual hangups. I am way to puritanical, and I know it. I blame my upbringing, and the fact that I just can’t get past certain things for some reason.

When was the very first time a man entered you? Was it good?

β€” Anonymously via email

I was 23 years old. After years of wondering, I finally got the nerve worked up to meet someone “to see how this all worked”. I was scared as hell. We went to his house. He put his hand on my knee. Started kissing me. Immediately the switch was thrown: I knew exactly who I was and where I was supposed to be. From there, clothes were removed and much exploring was had.

It was time. Parts were aligned. Penetration.

And it was good.

—–
And there are more questions to be answered. Coming soon!

Until next time...
Erik

Just ask.

I seriously have nothing going through my brain worth writing about. At least nothing I would consider worthy of writing down. I have a couple posts in draft that I’ve been working on for months but just can’t seem to hit the publish button on them for some reason.

It’s been a while since I did this, so… maybe it’s time for another round of “Ask Erik a question”!

Ask away! And I’ll answer them in a different post soon.

Until next time...
Erik

Questions Answered, Part 6 (Blogging)

It’s 2 AM here, and I finally got this post finished. Not that I’ve been working on it for long really. I was watching Doctor Who on the other monitor, and reading other blogs as well. But here it is.

In this previous post, I asked my lovely readers to ask me questions for each of six topics:

  1. Friends (answered here)
  2. Sex (answered here)
  3. Music (answered here)
  4. Religion (answered here)
  5. Love (answered here)
  6. Blogging

This post contains the answers for the questions that were asked under the last category, “Blogging”.

I appreciate all of you who got my mind thinking for me. And those of you who didn’t. πŸ˜‰

BLOGGING

What do you love about blogging?
What don’t you like about blogging?

β€” Jim

I don’t know if there’s anything in particular I love about blogging. For me it’s just been a way to express myself somewhat better, and a way to store my thoughts somewhere other than in a paper diary.

I don’t know if it’s really a “don’t like”, but blogging used to be a cathartic, somewhat anonymous outlet for me at one point in time. (If you can call it anonymous since I use my real name and all.) The cathartic posting has decreased over time, at least the ones that get published publicly.

Who is your favorite blogger in Dayton, Ohio?

β€” Cubby

You’re from Ohio? I though you were from the Internet. πŸ˜‰

When are you going to stop teasing all of us and give a full frontal pic ?

β€” thomas

I don’t know if I’d post a full frontal picture on my blog. And I don’t know that me doing the full Monty will ever appear on this blog. Then again, I do drunk blog from time to time.

What’s a subject you would never blog about?

β€” Richard

I don’t know if there’s a subject that I haven’t blogged about. Yet.

Do you feel you express yourself better in written form?

β€” John

Very much so. But only when I’m emotionally wound up. However I do write better than I speak. I’m not the greatest conversationalist in the world.

Do you know the ASCII values for space-char, return and newline by heart? πŸ™‚ (well, it’s a computer question and blogging is done on computers …)

β€” Raybob

Not those, but I do have a few other ones memorized that I use on this blog from time to time. But thanks to technological advances, I use those less and less these days. πŸ˜‰

Do you have blogger crushes? Have you ever acted on them if you do, or would you?

β€” Will

There are a few bloggers that I initially started following because I found them both very attractive (to me) and expressive in written format.

And I suppose if the opportunity presented itself, all things are possible.

How has Blogging evolved/changed since you started blogging and do you think it is for the better or worse? Does blogging seem to lose any of its relevance now that it is being done by the masses or is it more relevant now that it seems everyone and their dog is doing it? Do you think there is a “blogging community” and do you feel any kind of connection to other bloggers that is based on the fact that you both blog? In other words, does discovering another person blogs hold any relevance to you or give you any sense of connection to them because of this commonality?

β€” Sean

How has Blogging evolved/changed since you started blogging and do you think it is for the better or worse?

I’ve seen a lot of bloggers who were active in the blogging community stop blogging once Facebook became popular. Which really saddens me because I thought they were great bloggers.

Does blogging seem to lose any of its relevance now that it is being done by the masses or is it more relevant now that it seems everyone and their dog is doing it?

I don’t think that it’s lost it’s relevance. There are so many niches out there that one can find a plethora of blogging topics.

Do you think there is a “blogging community” and do you feel any kind of connection to other bloggers that is based on the fact that you both blog? In other words, does discovering another person blogs hold any relevance to you or give you any sense of connection to them because of this commonality?

I do think there is a blogging community, especially when you get a circle of bloggers who interact with one another. And a lot of those members usually have a common interest or two.

SUPER COMBO BONUS

Would you have sex with a friend while listening to music if he loved hating religion, knowing he would blog about it the next day?

β€” Sean

Would he be blogging about the hating of religion, the music selection, or about the sex? πŸ˜‰

Until next time...
Erik

Questions Answered, Part 5 (Love)

In this previous post, I asked my lovely readers to ask me questions for each of six topics:

  1. Friends (answered here)
  2. Sex (answered here)
  3. Music (answered here)
  4. Religion (answered here)
  5. Love
  6. Blogging

This post contains the answers for the questions that were asked under the “Love” category. Which had a lot of questions asked, more than the “Sex” category (I think)!

LOVE

What food do you absolutely love?

β€” Dale Who

Hot dogs. The cheap ones that are like 88 cents a pack. On an untoasted bun. With regular mustard.

What is something that you love (have passion for)?

β€” Jim

Obviously there’s the Husbear. And most technology that makes my life easier. I would say my art, but most of the time it’s more client-driven than personal, so it’s not really “my” art.

On love: How many great loves do you think a man deserves?

Every person deserves a lifetime of them, be that one or a plethora of them.

Do you believe in love?

β€” Cubby

When I read your questions, a song by the Dixie Chicks went through my mind, so I’ll go with this as the answer:

Do you feel that romantic love is for everyone or only a select few?

β€” Richard

I think it’s possible for everyone. But I don’t think that it’s something every person necessarily wants.

Who has loved you the most?

β€” Urspo

My Husbear.

Do you have “one that got away?” and if so, have you since bought better handcuffs? (j/k)

β€” John

There was one individual who, in the time pre-Husbear, I would have liked to have had a deeper relationship with. But it didn’t happen. And I didn’t pursue it. And I’m entirely okay with that today.

Do you as a gay man think there are different kinds of love, and that you can love some or many others in different ways simultaneously?

β€” Will

I thinkβ€”as a humanβ€”there are different kinds of love. One of the (many) things I fault about the English language is the lack of descriptive words for “love” like so many other languages have. Take Greek, for instance. There are at least five different words for love (four of them listed here) with each having a distinct meaning. Yes, we use other adjectives paired with the word in an attempt to describe love. But I think the word “love” itself is rather lacking.

That said, I think there are many different ways to love many different people at the same time.

Do you think you can successfully love more than one person at the same time?

β€” cb

Per the above answer, I think I can and do love several people at the same time, but in different ways of love.

But if you mean in the sense of agape love (as referenced in the link above), for me I think that’s only possible for one person at a time.

Do you believe love is an act, decision, emotion or all three? What constitutes “true love” in your mind and do you think that people ever experience the same kind of love as others do or do you think love is an individual and unique experience for each of us, much like “no two snowflakes are the same.” Piggy-backing on CB’s question above, do you think “true love” can be had for more than one person at a time? If marriage were abolished and people were encouraged to experience and enjoy sex with others without shame or hesitancy as their natural urges dictated, do you think love would become obsolete or do you think people would still naturally pair up, some for life, even without the societal pressure, support and encouragement to do so?

β€” Sean

“Do you believe love is an act, decision, emotion or all three?”

I believe love can and does consist of all three. And I personally think love isn’t love without having all three.

“What constitutes ‘true love’ in your mind…”

For me, “true love” is agape love (see above answer).

“…and do you think that people ever experience the same kind of love as others do or do you think love is an individual and unique experience for each of us, much like ‘no two snowflakes are the same.'”

I think the concept of love is similar, but I think the actual experience is distinct for each individual.

“…do you think ‘true love’ can be had for more than one person at a time?”

I think it’s possible, but I don’t think it’s possible for me.

“If marriage were abolished and people were encouraged to experience and enjoy sex with others without shame or hesitancy as their natural urges dictated, do you think love would become obsolete or do you think people would still naturally pair up, some for life, even without the societal pressure, support and encouragement to do so?”

I don’t know that marriage should be abolished, but I do think divorce should be. I think that would stop people from marrying for the most part.

And I’m not sure if people would pair up or group up. But I think there would be some sort of groupings that would occur.

What stupid things have you done for love? These could be trivial things, or these could be humongous life-lessons.

β€” Raybob

I guess it really depends on the definition of “stupid”. In the long ago I would have changed how I am for the love of another. That seems pretty humongous now that I look at it. I’m sure I’ve done lots of small little stupid things, but none of the come to mind. I’ve probably blocked those memories, or they didn’t bother me enough that they’ve slipped into the far recesses of my mind.

Until next time...
Erik