Tag Archives: That’s How I Roll

Anyone want to 4 Play?

Meme,

Because I have absolutely nothing that I can think of that is worth writing about as of late, I stole this from Sean at Idle Eyes and a Dormy. It was his birfday yesterday (17 May), by the way. Go wish him a happy birfday plus 1 day!

I think there’s way too much insight about me revealed in this. And it took a whole lot of thought. Something that’s rare with me.

4 Things I need to spend more time on in my life:
1. My relationship with my Husbear;
2. My friendships, the few of which I have;
3. My craft—more time drawing and learning new techniques;
4. Building my self-confidence.

4 Things I need to spend less time on in my life:
1. Self-doubt;
2. Self-loathing;
3. Staring at a computer screen;
4. Worrying.

4 Things I wish I could spend more time on in my life:
1. Relaxing, mentally;
2. Creating;
3. Laughing;
4. Just living.

4 Things I love about myself:
(How messed up is it that I can’t think of one thing?)
1.
2.
3.
4.

4 Things I hate about myself:
1. My lack of a sex drive;
2. My inability to accept, believe and own a compliment from another;
3. My voice;
4. The way my john thomas curves.

4 Things I love that I used to hate:
1. Chuck Ts;
2. Beer;
3. Landscaping;
4. Guys with tattoos….

4 Things I hate that I used to love:
1. Organized religion;
2. Heavy/thrash metal music;
3. Wal-Mart Stores, Inc.;
4. A few specific people.

4 Things I look forward to:
1. Road trips;
2. Finishing my right sleeve and left leg;
3. The next Doctor Who episode;
4. Spending my remaining years with the Husbear.

4 Things I dread:
1. Public speaking;
2. Being in a crowd;
3. Being naked;
4. Knowing one day I will see the lifeless body of my Husbear.

4 Things I once believed in but no longer do:
1. An omnipotent, omnipresent and omniscient being, call it what you will;
2. People/Humanity, in general;
3. My parents were infallible;
4. Politicians are altruistic.

4 Things I believe in that I didn’t use to:
1. Corporal punishment;
2. “An eye for an eye”;
3. Karma;
4. “A common mistake people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”

4 Things I love to do but I’m bad at:
1. Be sociable;
2. Let my inner-child come out;
3. To be whimsical;
4. Let the music take control.

4 Things I hate to do but I’m good at:
1. Accounting;
2. Waste time in front of a computer;
3. Act “grown-up”;
4. Being a dick.

4 Things I did that I am ashamed of:
1. Vandalized a building when I was a teenager…
2. … and let others take the fall for it;
3. Freaked out and made a scene when someone came out to me, back in college when I was still trying to figure out what I was myself;
4. That one specific tattoo I did back in the early days.

4 Things I did that I’m proud of:
1. Started—and still run—two successful businesses;
2. Became an Eagle Scout;
3. Became entirely self-employed;
4. Remodeling this old house in which we live.

4 Things I didn’t do that I regret:
1. Take piano lessons seriously as a child;
2. Make more of an effort to maintain a friendship;
3. Take pictures during that one Thanksgiving dinner that ended up being the last holiday when the Husbear’s dad was alive;
4. Say “Thank you”.

4 Things I want before I die:
1. To travel somewhere outside the continental U.S.;
2. To learn to play the banjo;
3. To be comfortable enough in my skin that I can take take a naked picture of myself and feel good about it;
4. And maybe be in a porn. 😉

Until next time...
Erik

Myself, the pseudo-Time Traveler

Meme

I actually found this interestingly thought-causing. Something I rarely do. Or have. 😉

Stolen from Sunday Stealing.

1. Depending on your age, go back 10, 15, 20, or even more years.
2. Tell us how many years back you have traveled and why.
3. Pretend you have met yourself during that era, and tell us where you are.
4. You only have one “date” with this former self.
5. Answer these questions.

I assume that by meeting and talking with my younger self, I’m not going to cause any temporal paradoxes to occur. Damn. I think I watch too much sci-fi is that’s the first warning that comes to my head.

I’m also going to assume that my younger self will forget everything that’s said once we part ways. Again, that whole temporal paradox thing.

Okay, as we start, what year is it and how old are you?
20 years ago this June, I graduated from high school. 1991. So I’ll pick that year. Unbelievable! How did that happen?

1. Would your younger self recognize you when you first meet?
I’d say probably not. The facial hair. The tattoos. The rapidly graying hair.

Here’s what I looked like then… and now:

Come to think of it, I don’t know that my current self would immediately recognize my younger self. What’s with my ears being all sticky-outy?

2. Would your younger self be surprised to discover what you are doing job wise?
Very much so. Hell, I’m still surprised by it most of the time! I’d also be surprised about the several other jobs I had before being a tattooist. None of those had even crossed my mind 20 years ago.

3. What piece of fashion advice would you give your younger self?
I don’t have any fashion sense now, how could I give my younger self any advice? I guess if I said anything I’d say don’t wait so long to get his/my first tattoo. And become a major stockholder in Converse.

4. What do you think your younger self is most going to want to know?
If he/I really is/am gay?

5. How would you answer your younger self’s question?
With a yes. And that being gay is none of the horrible things his/my family and church said it would be.

6. What would probably be the best thing to tell your younger self?
To learn to be a people person. Seriously. I’m so not a people person. I shy away from people-y events. More so now than I did when I was younger.

7. What is something that you probably wouldn’t tell your younger self?
As much as I’d want to, that he/I shouldn’t move to Arkansas and go to Harding. Despite all the suffering, if he/I didn’t, then he/I wouldn’t be where or who he/I is/am today.

8. What do you think will most surprise your younger self about you?
That I have a partner—a Husband. And have had one for nearly 14 years now.

9. What do you think will least surprise your younger self?
That the relationship with the father unit has not gotten any better in 20 years time.

10. At this point in your life, would your younger self like to run into “you” from the future?
I don’t see why not. I’m such a hoopy frood who really knows where his towel is!

Until next time...
Erik

Wet Dreams May Come

Ponderings

Back on the “Not So Stylish” post, one of the things I listed was:

5. I still have wet dreams. Not for lack of sex.

Which lead to Cubby asking:

Do you ever remember the dream you are having at the time of the emission?

“Yes” would be the short answer.

But I’m not really sure how to approach writing a post about that. I don’t want to just write about the specifics that occur in said dreams, many of which I do remember. That would seem sleazy of me.

So I guess I’ll approach the post as to the overall themes that re-occur in said dreams. The vast majority of the dreams involve oral sex in some fashion. I’m not really sure why the fixation on oral sex. But that’s what makes up most of the dreams “activities”.

And most usually involve people I know in real life—both gay and straight—who I won’t name here for fear of not being able to look them in the face again.

I’d blame an extremely hyper-overactive imagination, but if that were the case there should be more going on in these dreams than just that one activity.

I’ve always had this “issue” with nocturnal emissions for as long as I remember, both when I was single and since I’ve been partnered. While I am one who can generally go without sex for months at a time, the Husbear is the opposite and wants it several times a day if he could. So quantity of sex can be ruled out for the most part.

I have often wondered if it has something to do with the night terrors I used to have as a child, which have translated into the reoccurring nightmares I tend to have as well. I don’t wake up screaming like I used to, but I do tend to thrash and wake up frequently.

Maybe the dream outlet is the same, and the end result is just a different physical response.

I wonder if a small bladder is to blame? Which I seriously think has something to do with it. I’ve mentioned before that I used to wet the bed until late in my teens, and that I still have an occasional accident. One of the dream cues that signals that I need to wake up to pee is actually me giving myself oral sex in a dream. I have no idea why that is, but it is.

If only I were still that flexible.

I guess until I figure out what is at the root of these dreams, I’ll just keep on having them. Which isn’t a bad thing in my book.

That being said, aren’t you glad you’re not having to sleep next to me at night? 😉

Until next time...
Erik