After 40+ years on this planet, you’d think I’d remember to not cook bacon whilst being naked.
— February 06, 2017 at 11:38AM

You know it’s a great day when your microwave dies.
— February 02, 2017 at 01:45PM

When your phone charger cord won’t seat properly anymore, check that you don’t have 22 months of compacted lint buildup blocking… like me.
— February 01, 2017 at 11:23PM

When working with fiberglass insulation, it is important to wash your hands BEFORE using the restroom. I failed.
— January 11, 2017 at 02:52PM

Ball stretchers: won’t gravity and age eventually do the same thing? Are you in that much of a rush?
— January 06, 2017 at 11:45AM

Dear Jeep: you’re smart enough to make my defrost come on with remote start, but not turn on the seat warmer on the driver’s side?
— January 05, 2017 at 09:37PM