Monthly Archives: October 2012

Sunday Shindig

Ponderings

On Sunday, we had a little hoedown at the hacienda. It’s the first BBQ we’ve held at the house in the 10 years we’ve owned it. Since Dwayne was here visiting, we thought it would be a good time to bring some friends together for food and beverages.

The sun moving behind the trees, as viewed from the back porch.
Dwayne, Farmer and GypsyBiscuit having a moment.
MAG and Dwayne having a laughing moment.

I had a few other pictures of the other guests, which included our daughter and future son-in-law, the Husbear, Farmer’s husband, and our friend Michelle and her wife Amanda. Sadly those pictures didn’t turn out that well.

Hopefully a great time was had by all! I had a great time being with friends—no, I should use the word family. Because that’s what they are to me.

Yours truly. Possibly having a beverage.

Until next time...
Erik

13 Hours

Ponderings,

Our buddy Dwayne came over from the other side of the state this weekend. To get away for a bit. And to get a tattoo. A memorial tattoo to honor his partner, Tory.

As a tattooist, I am not a fan of most memorial tattoos. For several reasons. The biggest reason is that over the years I have heard time and again from collectors that it can become a psychological burden to either the collector, or to the family of the collector who has to see it. Usually because a name and date is involved in the tattoo. Or because the tattoo doesn’t really represent the person it is supposed to be honoring. All things I try to discuss with clients when they come in for a memorial tattoo.

But Dwayne and I talked about the memorial tattoo multiple times since Tory’s passing in August, and I think this memorial tattoo is a good idea.

I originally tattooed this design on Tory in Jan 2011. Dwayne decided a mirror image of this tattoo on the opposite side would be a great way to honor Tory.

So that’s what we did on Saturday. And 13 hours later, we were finished.

Dwayne’s memorial tattoo for Tory.

It’s now the longest single-session tattoo I have done. Dwayne sat like a champ.

I had a lot of time to converse with Dwayne, and a lot of time to remember the conversations that Tory and I had when we did his tattoo. I think it might have even helped me a little deal with the fact that Tory is gone.

And I think it’s a great tribute.

Until next time...
Erik

12 of 12, October 2012 edition

Ponderings, , , ,

My tenth “12 of 12”.

The 12 of 12 challenge was created by Chad Darnell and picked up from a number of random bloggers who then linked back to him and vice versa. Chad stopped doing the 12 of 12 links in December of 2011, so I’m linking to Blobby’s Blog as Blobby is the one who inspired me to do it.

All pictures were taken by me with my iPhone 4S. As always, click the images to enlarge if you choose.

10:01 AM: My morning caffeine of choice. Chemicals, I know. But we’re all mortal. And yes, that’s a mason jar. And a bendy straw. It’s how I roll.
10:02 AM: Shoe choice for the day. I’ve about worn the soles off this pair of Chucks. I draw the line at keeping them together with duct tape.
10:34 AM: At Sam’s Club. I wonder how much it costs to print this label? And even more of a wonder, why am I drawn to it?
12:29 PM: Drawing. Kind of. This piece is a wee bit more… architectural? Especially if it involves rulers and circle templates.
2:20 PM: One of these days, maybe all of these devices will match. Maybe. In the meantime, gallimaufry works for me.
4:10 PM: One of the body modifiers at the studio, Chadwick, doing what Chadwick does when he has a free moment.
8:10 PM: A fun tattoo I got to do on a client tonight! It’s actually a cover-up.
8:36 PM: Having a quiet moment in the breakroom.
8:38 PM: Having a quiet moment in the breakroom.
9:22 PM: Our buddy Dwayne from the other side of the state is visiting for the weekend! Neither he nor the Husbear were aware this picture was taken. Until afterwards. I’m sneaky like that.
9:36 PM: They say it’s healthy. I doubt it. If it was healthy I wouldn’t be eating it.
9:54 PM: The housemate’s Interloper’s dog, chasing his own tail. I’m waiting for him to catch it. Or better, to throw up from all the spinning in circles.
11:34 PM: Everyone else is in bed. So it’s paperwork and reading time for me.

I know, there’s 13 pictures. I couldn’t figure out which picture to cut. So you get 13.

Until next time...
Erik

National Coming Out Day, and the Siblings

Ponderings, ,

Today, October 11, is National Coming Out Day:

National Coming Out Day is an internationally observed civil awareness day for coming out and discussion about gay, lesbian, bisexual, asexual and transgender (LGBT) issues.

Timely enough, I was recently asked by Calvin:

Erik, you may have already talked about this in another post and if so, please excuse the question. I know that your parents haven’t come to terms yet with you being gay, but how do your siblings act around you? Are they fully accepting of the fact that you’re gay or do they feel as your parents do?

I briefly touched on my coming out to my siblings back in September 2011, but I’ll expand upon that here.

The first person I came out to in my family was Oldest Younger Brother. Somewhere between 1999 and 2000, he came to visit me in Arkansas. The Husbear and I were living together and had been since 1997. I was scared as Hell to tell him, but knew I needed to for my own sanity and mental health, and he was sort of my “testing ground” to gauge how the family would react. So Oldest Younger Brother and I went for a drive. And nervously I told him.

He took it surprisingly well. Add to that the fact I called the Husbear “hon” in front of him before that probably clued him in a little. He and his wife treat us well to this day. But we have never spoken directly about the who, where, what, and why of my being gay.

I told Sister in writing at the same time as I told my parents in August 2001, which occurred after I told Oldest Younger Brother. She never responded to the letter, nor have we ever spoken of it directly. To her credit, she does ask about the Husbear and myself when we talk, and she treats us well the couple times we have seen her in person. The Husbear even did her hair for her wedding back in 2005. 😉

As for Youngest Younger Brother, I have never told him directly that I was gay. I’m fairly certain the rest of the immediate family has done that for me. But he also treats the Husbear and I pleasantly when we talk or see him.

So does this mean I’m out to my siblings? I personally would say I am. Being gay really isn’t something that comes up in conversation with them. I don’t hide the fact that the Husbear and I are a couple to them, and have been so for over 15 years. When we are in Florida, we visit them together (except for that one time). If they had questions, I’d answer them. Just like I answer all the questions they ask about me being a tattooist. Or when I did computer work. As long as they are respectful to me, my beliefs, and those around me, I’ll extend that same courtesy to them.

Which is really how the world should work.

Until next time...
Erik